Monday CB Six Pack: Chasey Edition

6 to 12: This is a slippery slope. On one hand, you have Chase Utley, man-crush extraordinaire, returning to CBP to save the team from their offensive woes. On the other hand: royal breasts. But the “hotness” of Pippa, who is no doubt pretty, is being way overblown because of the Hannah Storm Corollary– location, location, location. For realsies, it’s like Mario and Croc (look it up) got together and made a video game about the quest for the unattainable princess sister. Gotta go Uts here. Don’t judge.

Madon’s music: In case you missed it, Kevin Cooney reported that Ryan Madson didn’t choose Don’t Stop Believing as his entrance music. Rather, it was given to him in San Francisco. This is the same song the Giants turned into a cheesy playoff anthem last year. Madson told Cooney that he was trying to decide between gangsta rap, Collins, or Lauper. Since Mad Dog is whiter than a locker room at Augusta, I think rap is out. That leaves us with Collins or Lauper. Chooch already uses (thanks to his teammates) In The Air Tonight, plus all of Collins’ songs sound like they were recorded in a muffled elevator. The mere thought of Mad Dog fetching the ball while True Colors blasts over the PA system is too enticing to pass up. Lauper in a landslide.

Richards: Yes. Next!

Crossing Broads: I think the no really, I’m straight rule comes into play here. Since we already compared Pippa to Chaseton, it’s only fair required that we compare her to Jen. They actually have very similar features: brown hair, petite stature, I look coy but you have no idea smile… I go Jen. Utleys FTW.

Crossing Bros: T-Mac. Soley for the boobs. Soley for the boobs.

Timberlake-Samberg collabo: First off, Justin Timberlake is hilarious. That was SNL’s best show in years, and the Barry Gibb Talk Show continues to be one of my favorite running skits they have. Three-Way was actually a good song, but Dick in a Box started it all and has assimilated itself into the American lexicon seamlessly. Dick in a Box. Three-Way (The Golden Rule) was good, though.


11 Responses

  1. I could kill you for making me have to, even for a split-second, think of Wheels & T-Mac sexually. I won’t have sex for a week. bleh.

  2. Hey Kyle, here is a little write up i found interesting…. i know how you like to run the articles that prove philly isnt the worst place on earth
    This line sums it up nice
    “Following the attack, Beck beefed up security at Dodger Stadium to deal with fights that had been breaking out at games in recent years and complaints from fans of opposing teams of verbal abuse and threats.”

  3. guys get to choose between Pippa and Jen Utley and girls get to choose between Wheels and TMac?! SERIOUSLY??? (barf)

  4. totally agree about Justin Timberlake. That year he hosted the ESPYs was amazing.

  5. The only thing absurd about Pippa would be throwing her out of bed! Yowsa!

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