Chipper_jones
If that title is not a new name for self-gratification, I don't know what is. 

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And this wasn't just any kind of spanking handed to the Braves, it was the kind rich men give hookers in New York hotel rooms. That kind of spanking- equal parts degrading and pleasurable.

The Phillies beat the Braves, 3-2, thanks to a walk-off single from Ross Gload. Apparently, he’s alive. Here is Gload and his thinning hair post game. [Not seen: In his post-game interview with Jim Jackson, Gload said, "I might not have to drink myself to sleep tonight."]

Before he came up to the plate in the ninth, Hunter Pence led off the inning with a chance to win the game. Sitting up in the 300 level, I thought I heard a faint Let’s Go Eat chant coming from below. A number of you confirmed it on Twitter.

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Well played, folks. The movement continues to gather steam despite the efforts of the Phillies marketing department to jump all over and molest that shark.

More crowd-sourcing: According to a number of you, Gary Matthews kept referring to the subject of Chris Wheeler’s dreams, Jason Heyward, as “the rookie of the year.” Now would be a good time to point out that Sarge was in San Francisco earlier this year to hand that award to… Buster Posey.

Jim McCormick takes a look at the Phillies’ pitching staff by the numbers.

Is Bastardo being overworked?

Chase Utley did not travel with the team and appears to have a mild concussion.

Merberry got the common noun treatment from Yahoo!(!!):

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Thanks to (@ACiaccia)

Finally, TODAY IS THE LAST DAY to vote for CB in CBS Philly’s blog awards. Please take two seconds to vote (even if you have already), you just need to click a button. If we win, we’ll pass along the $50 Amazon Gift Card (given to the winner) to you in next week’s Six Pack. As always, thanks! Vote here.