Follow me on twitter (@dancfuller) for uniform updates during Sunday's games. If you have any questions or want to have a uniform-related argument, whether fact-based or opinion-oriented, just send something @ me.
OK, let's all agree that it was good to see the Eagles win one. But can we also agree that the Redskins looked a whole lot better in losing than the Eagles did in winning? I'll take the UniDiction loss (2-4, same as the Eagles, by the way), but I won't back down about the Redskins Maroon over Yellow being up there as probably the best combo in the NFL and the Eagles White over Green… just making me mad.
Coming out of the bye week, there are two big weekends of uniform-related happenings to catch-up with. Week 6 saw the Packers in their nerdy "throwing back to a time before NFL uniforms looked like, you know, NFL uniforms" uniforms, the Cowboys in their very rare Blue over (true) Silver combo — yes, I'm proud of the work I put in to this graphic — and leading in to two topics that might shock uniform traditionalists, the Falcons wore their 60's-inspired throwbacks and the Bengals wore their Orange alternates. Of course I like the Falcons throwbacks; they have a distinct air of "classic NFL uniform," but they're so much better than their standard overly-modern uniforms that if they're not going to wear the throwbacks full-time, I actually wouldn't mind them wearing the forgotten Black jersey from the current set instead. Sure, maybe not in Black over Black, but Black over White is a good look. The Bengals paired their Orange jersey with their White pants, and know what? I actually think it's a good look. I'm not as much of a fan of when they wear the Orange alternate over Black pants, but the goofy details of the White jersey (the inexplicable Orange shoulder yoke) and Black jersey (Orange shoulder highlights) are missing or mitigated on the Orange jersey. Let's cut-out the White side panel, and it's actually a pretty nice uniform. Sure, the tiger stripes may be an acquired taste, but it's a unique feature which makes sense given the team name.
Week 7 saw the Vikings excellent throwbacks (which should be the normal uniforms, of course) and the Panthers in their "I Love the 90s" Electric Blue (er, "Carolina Blue") alternates. The Panthers are rarely on TV in the Philadelphia era, so my guess is few readers even know those alternates exist, so let me devote an additional sentence to just how unfortunate those jerseys are. The Panthers alternates are woefully ugly. Noted. Moving on. (Sadly, they wore them today against the Vikings, so that's two weekends in a row).
Against the Cowboys, there aren't many unknowns going into the game; the Eagles chose not to wear their White jerseys to try to invoke the Cowboys' "Blue Jersey Curse," so it's Green over White vs. White over Silver. As a divisional rival, I've already written-up this match-up twice (Cowboys are "White at Home," so it's the same uniform match-up whether at Dallas or in Philadelphia — for trivia's sake, the Cowboys have a rather nice throwback, but it won't be seen this weekend), so I'll borrow liberally from my previous efforts.
And, in the interest of completeness, the Cowboys rarely seen (though worn two weeks ago) Blue jerseys are an interesting item, not just a color-swapped version of the White over Silver uniforms. Check out this graphic I made detailing all of the mismatched items. You'd think that in the age of HD the Cowboys would at least address the Silver mismatch issue (at least making the helmets match one of the pants; it's not like they wear the "true" Silver pants from the Blue jersey set all that often), but I guess it's not too important down there in Texas. BUT, choosing Navy Blue or Royal Blue would at least be nice.
The Cowboys uniforms are a tough nut to crack; as an Eagles fan I feel as if I must hate them, but they're actually pretty nice. They're "classic" without looking too plain (Colts and Giants, that's you) or old-for-old's-sake (Packers throwbacks).
Either 2, 3, 6, or 7 points awarded for each category (safety, field goal, touchdown, touchdown+point after, of course)
Eagles: 7 — Same as always. Definitely one of the best helmet designs in the league. I'm a sucker for "functional" helmet designs.
Cowboys: 6 — It’s iconic and, oddly, rather understated element considering just how prevalent it is in the US. One point is removed because the shade of Silver doesn’t match the Silver pants… either of them. (note: for color professionals out there, please spare me the “it’s difficult to match colors on different substrates, especially shades of grey or silver when metal fleck is a component.” I know, but they’ve had 40+ years to get it right!
Eagles: 6 — When fans think of the "post-Cunningham" Eagles, they're picturing the Midnight Green jerseys. A unique, bold color, with detailed strokes on the numbers, and nice use of logos on the sleeves and collar. I'll remove a point due to the use of drop shadows.
Cowboys: 3 — There are few things Eagles fans hate more than the sight of a Cowboys jersey, especially if it’s White. Objectively, it’s a 6 (the shoulder stripes break up the plain-ness of it, though the Black strokes on the sleeve stripes don’t match the stroke-less numbers), but subjectively, we’re giving it a 3, because it's, you know, the Cowboys.
Pants + Socks
Eagles: 6 — The White pants provide nice contrast with the solid green of the jersey, and instead of plain white, the thick Black ad Green stripes (with the pencil thin grey stripe) on the side of the pants gives them a slightly modern touch. Black over White socks also break up the White from the pants
Cowboys: 3 — OK, Cowboys. Get your colors figured out, and we’ll talk.
Intangibles (no Pink adjustment this week – it looks like most teams have really dialed it back this week. It's still October, so I bet there's a lot more to this story which will never get reported. Pink was shamelessly poured over everything for the first two weeks of October, and now it's practically missing. I mean, I'm not missing it, but something's up. It could be that this is the fifth Sunday in October, and it was designed as a four week marketing program, but, again, that story will likely never be told.)
Eagles: 6 — OK, it's the best combo of their current uniform set, but it'd be fun to see them wear their White jerseys at home (preferably with White pants… but beggars can't be choosers), forcing the Cowboys to wear Navy over (true) Silver.
Cowboys: 3 — Out of bringing some professional journalism to this article, I'll say "these are nice uniforms, here are three points." Yeah, I feel dirty doing that, but I'm being fair. I may have offered a few more points if they were in their Navy over Silver combination (obscurity=points, people), but the Eagles chose not to force the Cowboys to wear them. Naturally, I'll blame the Cowboys for that.
good job honey bun
Almost got me, there. The trick is that I know the real Amanda doesn’t actually read my articles!
But, regardless, thank you. I take all the praise I can get.
Fuck Andy Reid and Ron Tostillos
I hate fat, arrogant, stupid play-calling Andy so much. So, so much…. But the sweaty greasy mullet of Rob Ryan makes me forget that. Jesus, if you’re there, please make Rob Ryan die of a bloody brain aneurysm while I’m watching him on live TV.
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