As always, this segment is sponsored by our friends from Drinker’s Philadelphia, where I will be hosting MIGHTY DUCKS QUIZZO Thursday night at 8 PM– Drinker’s Tavern in Old City (2nd and Market).

Sixers mascot: Dogg is out. He’s completely unoriginal, may land the Sixers in a lawsuit and is borderline racist. Soo… we’re left with two: Ben Franklin or Phil E. Moose.

The moose is going to win.

When you put it to vote, you run the risk of the public uprising and choosing the most ridiculous (worst) option. It’s the Sanjaya Effect— he’s going to win because people want to screw with the voting process. Plus, the moose is so ridiculous, it might win people over by bringing more attention and fame to itself than deserved– that’s the William Hung Theory. This thing might slowly be winning me over. Holy shit… it all goes back to American Idol… the show that is produced by 19 Entertainment… which is owned by the holding company founded by new Sixers owner Joshua Harris. Ah! We’ve been punked, Philadelphia! Larry Platt’d! Pants on the ground, pants on the ground!!! We’re looking like fools with our pants on the ground! Long live the moose! Mooooose!

Phillies offseason: Thumbs down, though I will reserve final judgement for when Ruben is done slapping his wang on money-laden tables. For now, though, the overabundance of over-30, slow, plodding white guys remains a concern. Unlike the Marlins, who are going to salsa dance their way to home plate.

Post-game rant guys: See both here. Angry Grey Ryan is too commercialized. The minute CSN producers limited Meredith Marakovits to one PGL interview at PJ Whelihan’s (Ryan), the segment officially jumped the shark. Then again, eatdatpussy445 is now being “sponsored” by our friends at Buzz on Broad, sooo… I’ll still like the pussy, though.

Crossing Broads: Look at that segue. Meredith has her ups and downs, but the black sweater with do you see me now? undergarment lines is always a winner. Ovi’s mistress, Maria Kirilenko, however, is athlete-dating perfection: she herself is an athlete, she’s Russian, doesn’t seem like a complete whore and models. That’s hard to beat. 

Crossing Bros (for the sistas): Always wondered. I’ll go Vick, just because he’s crazy enough to be bankrupt and send picture’s of his fiancée’s new Porsche, which he bought, to TMZ.

More ridiculous: The Maclin-donuts story one of my all-time favorites to write. But watching Kurt Warner just straight up emasculate Five on national television was perfectly hilarious and sad. And hilarious because it was sad. I’ll go McNabb.

 

This week Drinker’s Challenge: Predict, correctly, the number of shots on Ryan Miller by the Flyers tomorrow night in Buffalo. Winner gets a gift card to Drinker’s establishments. Enter after the jump.