Skate Bites: Bryz Has Flu, Bernie Parent Creeper Stories Continue to Come Out of Wing Bowl, Rangers Sponsored by DKNY

image from mobilwi.typepad.com


Bryz's Thermos, which he might need to get over the flu

There are few things which delight Flyers beat writers more than the mysterious concept of goalie drama. 

This morning, when Sergei Bobrovsky and some 5’10ish dude with a white helmet took to the ice sans $51 million goaltender, the Twitters went aflutter. Who is this masked man? Where is Bryz? Is he hurt? Did Peter Laviolette murder him and jettison him off into the, you guessed it, universe? 

No, not exactly.

Bryz has the flu, according to Paul Holmgrem. And the 5’10 goalie is a 26-year-old from Drexel Hill named Justin “Moose” Musciano, who, apparently, skates regularly at the SkateZone. Pretty cool opportunity, but not rare. Another local goalie sometimes fills-in during practice, too.

As (@FakeWIPCaller) on Twitter points out, the best underlying subplot from Wing Bowl is – not surprisingly – the emergence of Bernie Parent as a certifiable creeper. I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary when I saw him hanging backstage with Kobayashi and Tony Luke Jr., but, one person I was talking to in Kobi’s locker room, in between Bernie's two visits, told me the following: Hey, you just missed Bernie. He walked in and said, “Alright, let’s see some pussy!”

Then there was the reader who saw him sign a tit.

Then we got a picture of the tit.

And now, Maureen O’Connor, of Gawker, relays this bit of tid. I’m not sure if it’s hyperbole or not, but I’d imagine it’s not far from the truth: [Gawker.com]

My Wingette disguise worked perhaps too well. One of the dignitaries in our group was Bernie Parent, the 66-year-old former NHL goalkeeper who won the Stanley Cup with the Flyers in 1974 and '75. A white-haired man with a tan face and squashed nose, Bernie walked up to me before our entrance, chuckled, and wordlessly began to rub me like a shiny trinket.

"You see this ring?" he said, waving a Flyer's ring before my face and applying friction to my torso. "I got it for winning the Stanley Cup." He rubbed me from my ears to my elbows. "What, not a hockey fan?"

He pulled out his phone and showed me a picture of his boat.

 

Never change, Bernie. Never. Change.

Screen Shot 2012-02-09 at 11.56.39 AM

 

Finally, somehow I missed this one in the midst of all the Winter Classic news: The New York Rangers are being sponsored by DKNY: [Sports Business Journal]

The NHL Rangers have signed a sponsorship deal with DKNY in which the clothing brand will appear on the team's practice jerseys for the remainder of the '11-12 season (Rangers). The branding will have "quite some visibility" as the Rangers are featured in HBO's "24/7" series leading up to the Bridgestone NHL Winter Classic on Jan. 2. DKNY in April '10 inked a long-term sponsorship deal with the Yankees, "which brought its city skyline logo to a billboard in Yankee Stadium" 

 

It all makes sense, too. Justin Bieber’s friend Henrik Lundqvist was spotted at New York Fashion Week.

H/T to NYRangersBlog.com

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18 Comments

  • Coco February 9, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    I’m going to vomit Bernie.

    Reply
  • FACE February 9, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    I actually grew up in the same neighborhood as “Moose” and he played basketball on a few of my youth league teams, I think his pops coached too. Good people, I hope he’s killing it out there.

    Reply
  • StevieG February 9, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    Bernie reacting this way around whores, I mean strippers, shouldn’t be news.
    He’s notorious for always having been a letch.

    Reply
  • MM February 9, 2012 at 12:15 pm

    Even if Carts had never left, he’d have had to work very hard to catch up to Bernie. he doesn’t have the work ethic anyway.

    Reply
  • tom February 9, 2012 at 12:28 pm

    MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE
    sign him

    Reply
  • Loke2112 February 9, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    Bernie sounds like a D-bag…This is my ring and my boat….

    Reply
  • Penny Gardens February 9, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    Alright, let’s see some pussy!”- best line ever

    Reply
  • jrw522 February 9, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    h/t @jrw522 and @jshpil26 i believe too: https://twitter.com/#!/jrw522/status/167452645504729090 https://twitter.com/#!/JShpil26/status/167449106204196864

    Reply
  • mac February 9, 2012 at 2:32 pm

    That chick is funny – She asked super-squib “whats your shit look like after this ?”

    Reply
  • Social Media February 9, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    @mac
    NO chick is funny.

    Reply
  • Kyle Scott February 9, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    shit, sorry guys. forgot to throw that in there. i had the webpage open and couldn’t remember how i got there.

    Reply
  • Brad February 9, 2012 at 5:10 pm

    Is that type of behavior towards a woman something you are approving of? Wow…

    Reply
  • jrw522 February 9, 2012 at 5:35 pm

    haha no it’s cool just wanted to hear your thoughts…thought it would make for an interesting post

    Reply
  • Jsss February 9, 2012 at 6:01 pm

    Met him and Bob Kelly together.. didn’t know if I should be flattered or grossed out. I was grossed out and a little flattered.

    Reply
  • jimjangles February 9, 2012 at 6:28 pm

    Bernie took my friend’s mom on a date recently. He gave her a copy of his self help book for a first date present.
    They didn’t go on another date.

    Reply
  • Coke February 9, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    I would love to hangout with Bernie 1 night

    Reply
  • cheap north face jackets February 12, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    im so glad to see this blog post,it is so inspiring,i wish you a happy day.

    Reply
  • air jordan 1 for cheap February 13, 2012 at 1:22 am

    @-@ I won’t forget you, still believe

    Reply
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