Video: The Marlins’ Official Theme Song is an Embarrassment to Baseball, Perhaps Humanity

Kyle Scott - March 14, 2012

Screen Shot 2012-03-14 at 2.03.24 PM


Ohhhhhhhmaaaagod.
 

If you thought the Marlins’ vagina-like home run fountain was rock bottom, you’d be wrong. 

Here’s a verse from the new – official – Marlins 2012 theme song, We Are The Marlins (Go Fish!):

M-A-R-L-I-N-S, we are the Marlins, go Fish!

Everything is great in the sunshine state, we got the Marlins, the Miii-aaa-mi Marlins

So get up and let’s go, let everybody know that we are the Marlins, the Miii-aaa-mi Marlins

Catch the wave, cheer the boys (we are the Marlins, go Fish!), stomp your feet, and let’s make some noise

We are the Marlins, the Miii-aaa-mi Marlins 

 

Wait, who are you?

It sounds like the unfortunate offspring of Jimmy Buffett fucking a high school cheerleading squad. And that’s coming from someone who likes Jimmy Buffett… and cheerleading squads!

This is truly an embarrassment. Somewhere, the Reading Phillies' outstanding promotions guy shakes his head in obvious disgust.

Must-listen audio after the jump. SMH.

H/T to reader Josh

Video via CBS Sports

 

26 Comments

  • Steve March 14, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    Makes me want to cut off my ears and then remove all parts of my brain that are associated with memory…

    Reply
  • Chris March 14, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    That’s the shittiest excuse for a theme song I’ve ever heard. It’s even worse than the disco Sixers song…which is kind of a guilty pleasure of mine.
    What the hell are they thinking???

    Reply
  • Toneloc March 14, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    good lord

    Reply
  • Blonders March 14, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    hahahahaha holy shit…..this can’t be real. if we finish below the natinals and their campaign or this team with their theme song i will off myself

    Reply
  • FACE March 14, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    Buffet sucks. 🙂
    FACE

    Reply
  • ThePhillyFlash March 14, 2012 at 2:20 pm

    Yo, Chris! You beat me to the punch with the mention about that old Sixers theme song. But this Marlins horror is much worse!

    Reply
  • Chase utley's bad knee March 14, 2012 at 2:27 pm

    It will sound great when they win the division

    Reply
  • Todd March 14, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    w…t…f…

    Reply
  • Lou Will March 14, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    This is up there but Jimmy Rollins saying Hoawrd won’t play this year isn’t? Since when does Marlins news come before Phillies news on a Philly blog. It’s nothing only our star first baseman is gone for the season. Carry on with the marlins news though

    Reply
  • Rebecca Black March 14, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    I like it!!!

    Reply
  • cass March 14, 2012 at 3:01 pm

    gay

    Reply
  • Ron Shelly March 14, 2012 at 3:05 pm

    nice tune

    Reply
  • tim March 14, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    yessssssssss

    Reply
  • TCR March 14, 2012 at 3:17 pm

    what’s the gay obsession with the Marlins on this site?

    Reply
  • Chase utley's bad knee March 14, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    Rebecca, it’s steak and blow job day, get over here

    Reply
  • Nyet in Net March 14, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    They must have hired a cruise director to write that POS theme park crap. Mass suicide watch in South FL this summer!

    Reply
  • Ron March 14, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    I turned it off at 1:04 … I couldn’t take any more … (kind of surprised I made it THAT far in hindsight)

    Reply
  • Joe March 14, 2012 at 4:48 pm

    PBS kids show theme song…??

    Reply
  • patrick mccarthy March 14, 2012 at 5:25 pm

    do you have a world series title for the marlins, go fish.

    Reply
  • Vandermille March 14, 2012 at 5:40 pm

    I have no idea how the Phillies are supposed to compete against this. I can only imagine the frenzy this song will whip the Marlins’ fans and players into.

    Reply
  • Jason B March 14, 2012 at 8:59 pm

    I wonder what Logan Morrison thinks? He probably wants very badly to kill himself.

    Reply
  • mikeybot March 14, 2012 at 10:15 pm

    34 seconds. I thought my asshole was going to crawl inside me if I listened any more.

    Reply
  • Hodgy Beats March 14, 2012 at 11:45 pm

    Fuck em

    Reply
  • Beez Nutz March 15, 2012 at 9:06 am

    I kinda like it
    Alot of Love,
    Beez Nutz

    Reply
  • Joan Schriver March 15, 2012 at 11:22 am

    I’ll give it a 7 to dance to!!!!

    Reply
  • Mike March 15, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    I feel sorry for all 3 season ticket holders that have to hear this God-awful waste of digital trash at every homegame.

    Reply
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