Morning (Hard)wood: Blowing at Home

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Sadly, the highlight from the Sixers game may have been the 8-8 Eagles showing up

Hardwood

The Boston Celtics have two gears: Old and still fucking old but now it’s time to win so we have to do that Old School Chevy thing and find a way.

You can guess which they drove in last night.

For Games 1 and 2, the Celtics didn’t switch into Old School Chevy gear until the fourth quarter. The Sixers were lucky enough to escape Beantown with one victory despite outplaying the Celts for the better part of two games. Yesterday, though, the Celtics kicked it into gear in the second quarter and never looked back. Garnett was in Anything is Possible mode, putting up 27 points and 13 rebounds. 

You can watch the full highlights here… if you want to do that to yourself. 

Wood

Choooooooooooooooooch. 

Fat Carlos Ruiz – or, as some readers have suggested, Endearingly Pudgy Carlos Ruiz – hit a solo home run to give the Phillies a 3-2 lead in the eighth. They never looked back. Hector Luna tacked on a grand slam in the ninth and the Phillies went on to win 9-2. 

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The Daily News’ cover is good, though I’m not sure a home run coming around 10:45 p.m. can be considered late night. Maybe for scriptuals and layout folks needing to finalize an issue it is…

Zoo With Roy put a #voteforchooch video together and set it to Enrique Iglesias.

Did Kyle Kendrick suck?

He did not.

6 IP, 3 H, 1 ER, 4 K, 0 BB 

It’s an every man’s quality start, not the likes of what we see from Roy, Cliff and Cole, but still impressive from KK. 

Video here.  

Did a fielding gaff cost the Phillies a run?

It did.

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Phanatic

At the Iron Pigs game.

DeSean Jackson G Pic of the Day 

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Our friend HughE Dillon has pictures from Jeremy Maclin’s birthday party. Includes D-Jac, Jason Kelce and… Tim Legler? 

Meep Meep Meep Meep Meep Meep Meep

Beaker went to visit his hot girlfriend at Sampan, again.

Reader email:

Had dinner in Sampan on 13th and Walnut tonight for my bday. Was sitting at the bar afterwards when Evan walked in with his girl,his two boys and some old bald whote man. Not sure who he is. Nobpics cause its kind off empty and ill feel weird but they seem to be loving life even if beeker played like an asshole and soxers got smoked.

-Mike

 

Can’t believe I’m about to do this: Do you remember that scene in Fever Pitch where Jimmy Fallon was crushed to learn that Johnny Damon and Jason Varitek seemingly were enjoying themselves at a nice restaurant after losing Game 3 of the ALCS in horrific fashion to the Yankees? Yeah, that.

A Reminder Why Sixers Super Fan Alan Horowitz Has Such Good Seats

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Man Scents

Yankee Candle just released four new scents specifically for men– Man Town— which sounds positively fruity… First Down… Riding Mower— not a sex position… and 2×4— which, you guessed it, smells like saw dust.

I need one of these for the new house. 

Awkward Tweet of the Day 

Many Eagles were in attendance at last night’s Sixers game. New Eagle Mychal Kendricks seemingly wasn’t invited. Check out this Tweet he sent to Adam Aron… an hour after the game started

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Poor guy. An hour later? 

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Sure is.

Plug

PHILLY SPORTS IN MOVIES QUIZZO TONIGHT AT DRINKER’S! I'm hosting, you're playing. Details here.

Torts

Finally, John Tortorella hates the media. Video after the jump.

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22 Comments

  • Ron Hipple May 17, 2012 at 9:28 am

    meep meep

    Reply
  • Steve May 17, 2012 at 9:31 am

    Is a man candle a mandle?

    Reply
  • Yankee Weiner Company May 17, 2012 at 9:35 am

    No I believe a man candle is called a penis.

    Reply
  • Nick P May 17, 2012 at 9:41 am

    We should ask Cole Hamels.

    Reply
  • KG May 17, 2012 at 9:47 am

    Haha “Did a fielding gaff cost the Phil’s a run….. It did” no other words are really necessary.

    Reply
  • Adam May 17, 2012 at 9:48 am

    Sometimes I watch Torts with the media and think “God damn that was hysterical.”
    Sometimes I watch Torts with the media and think “What a whiny bitch.”
    Last night was one of the latter. He’s seriously the only reason I actually have any hate for the Rangers other than the fact that they’re the Rangers. I mean, for me, it’s difficult to hate any of their players, but Torts? He’s just Sidney Crosby without the accent.

    Reply
  • blow me May 17, 2012 at 9:48 am

    Everyone go to Drinkers and kick kyles ass

    Reply
  • Crosby is hung May 17, 2012 at 9:51 am

    Torts is a fuckin arrogant prick. I’d blow him

    Reply
  • Harry Mays May 17, 2012 at 9:53 am

    Luna the Tuna should take over for washed up Polly, suck a bird Bruno

    Reply
  • Harry Mays May 17, 2012 at 9:53 am

    Btw….fuck Djack, fuckin thug

    Reply
  • Snow Balls at Santa May 17, 2012 at 9:57 am

    Myyyyy godddddd can the Rangers just lose so the Devils win the cup, Marty retires, and 17/18 go away!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  • X LIVE May 17, 2012 at 10:08 am

    Tortorella is a grade a dickhead

    Reply
  • Adam from Claymont May 17, 2012 at 10:32 am

    Chooch:
    19 runs, 37 hits, 7 HR, 24 RBI, 343 avg, 388 obp, 602 slg, 990 OPS
    VS.(the “go to picks for NL All Star Catcher)
    Brian Mccann
    15 runs, 29 hits, 6 HR, 22 RBI, 252 avg, 336 obp, 435 slg, 771 ops
    Yadier Molina
    19 runs, 37 hits, 4 HR, 19 RBI, 301 avg, 351 obp, 504 slug, 855 ops
    chooch all day… ALL DAY!!!!!! make it happen all star voters!!!!!!

    Reply
  • Chazzo May 17, 2012 at 10:39 am

    Tortorella is such a dick. I would never want him to coach this team above Laviolette. At least Lavi tells you what is going on and why his team isn’t good enough. Tort acts like he invented hockey and his team should go undefeated every season. What a cock!

    Reply
  • Write the Truth May 17, 2012 at 10:39 am

    Elton Brand is the “old school chevy,” not the celtics.

    Reply
  • bob May 17, 2012 at 10:41 am

    Cmon CB wheres your investigative team?? Horowitz is the CEO of a real estate development group in Philly that owns a crap ton of college apartment buildings all throughout the country. He should drive a Ferrari and sit on the floor!

    Reply
  • ThePhillyFlash May 17, 2012 at 10:50 am

    Last night, the Celtics were more like the old school Chevy with a Ferrari engine under the hood as they blew by the Sixers like they were standing still. One can only hope those old farts shot their load and won’t have anything left for tomorrow night.

    Reply
  • Stuart May 17, 2012 at 10:50 am

    Pretty sure the “old white bald guy” is David Falk, his (and Elton Brand’s) agent. He was at the game too, sitting courtside.

    Reply
  • ThePhillyFlash May 17, 2012 at 10:57 am

    By the by, Kyle, I’m 53 and most nights, it’s a struggle for me to stay awake until 11, so yeah, I can definitely see 10:45 as “late”. Heh!

    Reply
  • tom May 17, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    stuart obviously doesnt watch the 76ers

    Reply
  • assgiles May 17, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    tim legler frequents center city bars more often than richards/carts/burrell combined. I’ve seen him at least 6 different times out. tim legler is a legend made of mayonaisse

    Reply
  • Ty May 17, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    Not only does our boy Alan drive a Ferrari, I saw him on 76 in a Rolls Royce Phantom convertible with his signature “Campus” license plate on, needless to say he hopped on the student housing wagon a while back at the right time.

    Reply
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