Morning (Hard)wood: Blowing at Home

Screen Shot 2012-05-17 at 9.08.06 AMSadly, the highlight from the Sixers game may have been the 8-8 Eagles showing up


The Boston Celtics have two gears: Old and still fucking old but now it’s time to win so we have to do that Old School Chevy thing and find a way.

You can guess which they drove in last night.

For Games 1 and 2, the Celtics didn’t switch into Old School Chevy gear until the fourth quarter. The Sixers were lucky enough to escape Beantown with one victory despite outplaying the Celts for the better part of two games. Yesterday, though, the Celtics kicked it into gear in the second quarter and never looked back. Garnett was in Anything is Possible mode, putting up 27 points and 13 rebounds. 

You can watch the full highlights here… if you want to do that to yourself. 



Fat Carlos Ruiz – or, as some readers have suggested, Endearingly Pudgy Carlos Ruiz – hit a solo home run to give the Phillies a 3-2 lead in the eighth. They never looked back. Hector Luna tacked on a grand slam in the ninth and the Phillies went on to win 9-2. 

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The Daily News’ cover is good, though I’m not sure a home run coming around 10:45 p.m. can be considered late night. Maybe for scriptuals and layout folks needing to finalize an issue it is…

Zoo With Roy put a #voteforchooch video together and set it to Enrique Iglesias.

Did Kyle Kendrick suck?

He did not.

6 IP, 3 H, 1 ER, 4 K, 0 BB 

It’s an every man’s quality start, not the likes of what we see from Roy, Cliff and Cole, but still impressive from KK. 

Video here.  

Did a fielding gaff cost the Phillies a run?

It did.

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At the Iron Pigs game.

DeSean Jackson G Pic of the Day 

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Our friend HughE Dillon has pictures from Jeremy Maclin’s birthday party. Includes D-Jac, Jason Kelce and… Tim Legler? 

Meep Meep Meep Meep Meep Meep Meep

Beaker went to visit his hot girlfriend at Sampan, again.

Reader email:

Had dinner in Sampan on 13th and Walnut tonight for my bday. Was sitting at the bar afterwards when Evan walked in with his girl,his two boys and some old bald whote man. Not sure who he is. Nobpics cause its kind off empty and ill feel weird but they seem to be loving life even if beeker played like an asshole and soxers got smoked.



Can’t believe I’m about to do this: Do you remember that scene in Fever Pitch where Jimmy Fallon was crushed to learn that Johnny Damon and Jason Varitek seemingly were enjoying themselves at a nice restaurant after losing Game 3 of the ALCS in horrific fashion to the Yankees? Yeah, that.

A Reminder Why Sixers Super Fan Alan Horowitz Has Such Good Seats

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Man Scents

Yankee Candle just released four new scents specifically for men– Man Town— which sounds positively fruity… First Down… Riding Mower— not a sex position… and 2×4— which, you guessed it, smells like saw dust.

I need one of these for the new house. 

Awkward Tweet of the Day 

Many Eagles were in attendance at last night’s Sixers game. New Eagle Mychal Kendricks seemingly wasn’t invited. Check out this Tweet he sent to Adam Aron… an hour after the game started

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Poor guy. An hour later? 

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Sure is.


PHILLY SPORTS IN MOVIES QUIZZO TONIGHT AT DRINKER’S! I'm hosting, you're playing. Details here.


Finally, John Tortorella hates the media. Video after the jump.

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22 Responses

  1. Haha “Did a fielding gaff cost the Phil’s a run….. It did” no other words are really necessary.

  2. Sometimes I watch Torts with the media and think “God damn that was hysterical.”
    Sometimes I watch Torts with the media and think “What a whiny bitch.”
    Last night was one of the latter. He’s seriously the only reason I actually have any hate for the Rangers other than the fact that they’re the Rangers. I mean, for me, it’s difficult to hate any of their players, but Torts? He’s just Sidney Crosby without the accent.

  3. Myyyyy godddddd can the Rangers just lose so the Devils win the cup, Marty retires, and 17/18 go away!!!!!!!!!

  4. Chooch:
    19 runs, 37 hits, 7 HR, 24 RBI, 343 avg, 388 obp, 602 slg, 990 OPS
    VS.(the “go to picks for NL All Star Catcher)
    Brian Mccann
    15 runs, 29 hits, 6 HR, 22 RBI, 252 avg, 336 obp, 435 slg, 771 ops
    Yadier Molina
    19 runs, 37 hits, 4 HR, 19 RBI, 301 avg, 351 obp, 504 slug, 855 ops
    chooch all day… ALL DAY!!!!!! make it happen all star voters!!!!!!

  5. Tortorella is such a dick. I would never want him to coach this team above Laviolette. At least Lavi tells you what is going on and why his team isn’t good enough. Tort acts like he invented hockey and his team should go undefeated every season. What a cock!

  6. Cmon CB wheres your investigative team?? Horowitz is the CEO of a real estate development group in Philly that owns a crap ton of college apartment buildings all throughout the country. He should drive a Ferrari and sit on the floor!

  7. Last night, the Celtics were more like the old school Chevy with a Ferrari engine under the hood as they blew by the Sixers like they were standing still. One can only hope those old farts shot their load and won’t have anything left for tomorrow night.

  8. Pretty sure the “old white bald guy” is David Falk, his (and Elton Brand’s) agent. He was at the game too, sitting courtside.

  9. By the by, Kyle, I’m 53 and most nights, it’s a struggle for me to stay awake until 11, so yeah, I can definitely see 10:45 as “late”. Heh!

  10. tim legler frequents center city bars more often than richards/carts/burrell combined. I’ve seen him at least 6 different times out. tim legler is a legend made of mayonaisse

  11. Not only does our boy Alan drive a Ferrari, I saw him on 76 in a Rolls Royce Phantom convertible with his signature “Campus” license plate on, needless to say he hopped on the student housing wagon a while back at the right time.

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