This Girl Recorded a Claude Giroux Love Song

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Slide over, this chick. Claude Giroux has a new super fan, and she has lyricals.

Ever wanted to hear an emo-Dixie Chicks-Sixpence None The Richer-that band who opened for Friends-sounding love song to Claude Giroux?

What’s that, you have?

Well, boy are you in luck!

Last night, Jess Goldey sent us her song, Orange G-Sus, I’d Cook You Grilled Cheeses, and, well, it’s not terrible (my sick mind saw the word cock in there the first time I read it– don’t lie, yours did too).

Goldey, of course, is playing on Giroux’s love for the delicious combination of melted dairy product and crispy bread.

Some lyricals:

The way that you play hockey makes me feel tingly inside

I can only imagine how great it’d feel if you let me call you mine.

Hey G, for what it’s worth, I think you’re way better than Crosby.

‘Cuz he’s a whiny bitch and you’re a real man, not a p


So just let me know, we can take it slow.

I’m not tryna be your wife.

But I was kinda hoping you’d be into making out once or twice.


Hey Claude Giroux,

Hey Claude Giroux.

Hey Claude Giroux…..

….I wanna date you.


The use of I’m not tryna be your wife cracks me up for some reason. Nice work by Jess.

You can download the full song here.


45 Responses

  1. Beyond horrible…why do people have to make these dumb fucking songs for every sport during every playoff run

  2. Dont fall for it Claude!! I dont know about those Canadian broads but all these USA women say they’ll cook for you; but they wont. Trust me.

  3. i’d love to get some free smells off her

  4. You’re throwing this sweet girl to the wolves. Hopefully, “Jack Mehoffer” or “Angelo Cataldi’s anal fissure” will go easy on her.

  5. Thanks for the song. I actually just finished ramming her in the back seat of my car. She was okay.

  6. this girl gives puck bunnies a bad name.
    that is impressive in a very sad very attention seeking kind of way.

  7. holy shit, i used to work with this chick at an assisted living home. thats pretty hilarious.

  8. Hey BummedFemaleHockeyFan, do you want to get rammed in the backseat of my car too?

  9. Ok, so she can play some guitar chords, But can she play an Organ?
    Stay classy Philly….

    1. A puck bunny is a hockey slut. They wait in tunnels, give road head, write crappy songs, and know very little about the actual game or history (aside from their favorite player).

  10. welp, i guess we’re still in the 1990s where people still spell cool with a ‘k’

  11. the fact you dont even know what a puck bunny is just further proves you are actually a puck bunny. if giroux actually takes this walking publicity stunt out im going to drink myself into a coma

  12. @Bummed – Not worth it. There are far more worthwhile things to drink yourself into a coma over.

  13. If Jess wants to impress me,then she should write a song about cooking and cleaning for her family.and doing the laundry.

  14. Careful Claude you will date her for only 3 months and she will get a weird obsession with you, and write love songs about you like 4 years later.

    1. I blame the Flyer coaching staff and Flyer who can’t play and Claude for not acknowledging a song written about him. I knew all the Flyer player when they won the Stanley Cup, this would have not happened then!!!!!!!!!!

  15. Good job Jess….can’t knock a girl for trying….why didn’t she release this during the regular season. As a long time season ticket holder…I do agree that the love only comes out during playoff time! Let’s give this team some love year round during that long and grueling season! However, I still say good for you Jess it takes guts to put your song out and have people attack you who have lesser guts!

    1. I guess you are a male convenient pig Ron, You could not get a girlfriend if you tried! You Never Had SEX!!!

  16. @The most interesting Flyers fan in the world.
    isn’t that like saying “fasted kid at fat camp”????

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