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Slide over, this chick. Claude Giroux has a new super fan, and she has lyricals.

Ever wanted to hear an emo-Dixie Chicks-Sixpence None The Richer-that band who opened for Friends-sounding love song to Claude Giroux?

What’s that, you have?

Well, boy are you in luck!

Last night, Jess Goldey sent us her song, Orange G-Sus, I’d Cook You Grilled Cheeses, and, well, it’s not terrible (my sick mind saw the word cock in there the first time I read it– don’t lie, yours did too).

Goldey, of course, is playing on Giroux’s love for the delicious combination of melted dairy product and crispy bread.

Some lyricals:

The way that you play hockey makes me feel tingly inside

I can only imagine how great it’d feel if you let me call you mine.

Hey G, for what it’s worth, I think you’re way better than Crosby.

‘Cuz he’s a whiny bitch and you’re a real man, not a p


So just let me know, we can take it slow.

I’m not tryna be your wife.

But I was kinda hoping you’d be into making out once or twice.


Hey Claude Giroux,

Hey Claude Giroux.

Hey Claude Giroux…..

….I wanna date you.


The use of I’m not tryna be your wife cracks me up for some reason. Nice work by Jess.

You can download the full song here.