Hey, The Phillies are Checking on Kevin Youkilis Too

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Ruben Amaro’s manhood grew three sizes that day.

The Phillies are, literally, interested in every major free agent. B.J. Upton, Michael Bourn, Josh Hamilton, and now, Kevin Youkilis.

Per a report by Jon Morosi of FOX Sports, the Phils are in on the Youkilis sweepstakes, if there is such a thing:

The Indians, Phillies and Dodgers are looking to upgrade their production at third base and have shown preliminary interest in Youkilis, according to major-league sources. The Mariners and Marlins — the majors’ two worst teams this year in first-base production — have checked in on Youkilis, as well.


Raise your hands above your head in a homoerotic fashion and rub your stick awkwardly if you want Youk on the Phils.

Looks around

No one

Wait! You, you in the back there… oh, just the Elmo guy. You don't count. Anyone else? Didn't think so.

Youk will be 34 when the season starts, hasn’t played in more than 136 games since 2008, batted .258 and .235 each of the past two seasons, (dis)respectively, and his on-base percentage has gone down every season since 2009. Positives? He walks, a fucking lot, and he could fill that awkward batting-stanced, bad-backed, over-the-hill third baseman void left behind by Placido Polanco’s departure. Soooo… there’s that.

Red Sox South, baby.


17 Responses

  1. I would LOVE Youk. Yes he is old and has been iffy the last two years, but he does walk a ton and has the kind of at bats we need in this lineup. Also, part of his low average can be attributed to a very low BABIP. Youk strikes me as a change of scenery guy. I would give him a 1 year deal 2 years max, and have him hold the fort until Cody Asche is ready.


  3. Fuck that. Just the way he holds the bat makes me hate him, not to mention he stinks too.
    Didn’t we just sign Frandsen for a year? He seems more promising than this over the hill, Boston Bum.

  4. Agree with JD, what does this guy bring that Frandsen doesn’t? Youk hit .236 in 292 ABs for the WhiteSox last year.

  5. Not impressed. Youkilis is 34 going on 44 and, at this stage in his career, he’s no better than Frandsen, maybe a little worse. Kill that noise.

  6. Sign em all! It’s not my money. Plus, we need a DH with all interleague play going on throughout the entire season this year.

  7. I would take michael vick over kevin frandsen… give me youk over ANYTHING out there. At least he doesnt strikeout every 2 at bats like everyone they signed last year.

  8. @joe craig… his career average season is 283 23 hr 96 rbi…. I’d take that over a polanco frandsen combo

  9. ‘Your are all idiots’ finally crawled out of his hole (his granny’s basement) to make a comment after the gnats got humiliated on national t.v. over a month ago. LOL @ that pussy ass ho. He’ll be watching his gnats 2012 division title DVD while he beats his little prick and cries himself to sleep for the next5 years.

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