Scott Hartnell is the Fifth Hottest Player in Hockey, Scientific Survey Says

Cosmo says he’s hot… and Hartnell’s down with that

OH MY GOD HE’S SO SEXY IN SO MANY WAYS, all the ladies say.

Well, at least that’s what readers of Cosmo say. The magazine's list, Hot Hockey Players, unveiled to thirsty lady loins everywhere today, ranks Hartnell fifth in the league. His position is justified thrustly… er, thusly:

You might recognize this left wing from his cameo in This Is Forty. Or from scoping out his sexy red curls on the ice. 

Claude Giroux didn’t crack the top 30 (which makes at least one girl very sad), nor did any other current Flyers. Jaromir Jagr finished 30th, presumably thanks to Cosmo’s more mature, perhaps bushy, Eastern European readers.  

A few other names of note: Jeff Carter, our former sword-swinging sex machine turned Stanley Cup champion– he finished second (Mike Green and his Gerber face finished first). And Sidney Crosby– 15th, somehow (his inclusion was mandated by the league). 

If a sudden influx of estrogen allows you to click, you’ll be able to see the full list… hither.

The next time I see a feminist nut complaining about men objectifying female athletes – like the luscious Alex Morgan – I'm going to spam them links to the descriptions for every player on Cosmo's list. Just for sport.

H/T to Sarah Baicker