Hartnell and Parveen, Sittin’ in a Tree

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Hartnell DTF! 

Not since that time NBC 10 sent Sheena Parveen on an awkward lunch date with goofball Hunter Pence have we had a story about, well, Sheena Parveen going on a date with a goofball local athlete.

Dan of Gross of Philly.com was informed by a tipster, who says he works at the Irish Pub, that Hartnell and Parveen were having drinks at the bar late Wednesday night. Doing his usual due diligence, Gross found that it wasn’t the first time the pair had beverages together: [Philly.com

Parveen was also seen hanging with Hartnell in the VIP area at Dusk at Caesars in November after the Operation Hat Trick charity game he organized at Boardwalk Hall to benefit Hurricane Sandy relief efforts.


This is huge, folks. Hartnell’s apparent courtship of Parveen puts him in rarified Philly-cock-swinging air once inhaled by the likes of Pat Burrell and, yes, John Bolaris (back in his Lauren Hart days). This story also answers the question: How does Scott Hartnell celebrate being named the fifth hottest hockey player by Cosmo


What’s more is that the decision to go to the IP is a move ripped from the pages of Burrell’s playbook. It’s like the sex manual that Kevin’s brother talked about in American Pie 2– this book that some guys brought back from Amsterdam in the early eighties. What to do with your tongue, things like that. And each year, it got passed on to one East student who was worthy of it.

Only one local athlete at a time is privy to the book's contents– things like, "cab companies quickest to Irish Pub, Public House and Drinker’s," "how much get home money to give in the morning" (it’s commensurate with her education), and “cunilingizing a TV anchor.” HARTNELL’S GOT THAT BOOK! Not saying he did those things with Parveen, but he has the book. Jeff Carter had it before him (Hartnell presumably skipped the chapter about how to start a rumor that you’re nailing your teammate’s wife). John Clark before that. Darren Daulton back in the day. But now it’s Scottie’s. His to do with what he will. Perhaps he’ll marry a Hooter’s girl, dye his hair blonde, or ride down Broad in celebration on a Clydesdale-pulled wagon. The possibilities are endless.


52 Responses

  1. parveen is hot and all, but i dont get the overwhelming fascination many in this region have towards her. again, she is good looking, but i think her hotness in grossly overrated. give me jillian mele. now, that is fucking hott!

  2. I am the king of copy and paste….btw candy from the oak and three finger Lenny are complete fags that think they’re funny. Almost as big fag as me.

  3. Parveen has a busted face. I cannot understand this city’s collective hard-on for her. Plus she looks like a complete whore.

  4. Is this a sports blog or a 17-year old twink exploring his new-found obsession with the cocks of local athletes? If Kyle Scott isn’t talking literally about someone else’s penis, he’s filtering news cut and pasted from other sources through penis imagery and lame dick jokes.

  5. I’m shocked Scott would take her to such a white trash bar. I wonder if he fucked her in the Irish pub bathroom stall, like pat the bat did with his whores

  6. Sigh. Here we go again. Crossing Broad’s typical, brainless commenters using disgusting terms to sully a woman just because she’s successful. You gutless wonders can’t handle a successful, powerful woman. You’d probably wet your PJ’s if you were in front of her.

  7. The hottest chick in local news is kacie mcDonnell. I would love to lick her puss & asshole if the mood was right. Maybe after a long week of work & couple cold beers

  8. I agree. While Parveen is quite attractive, Kacie McDonnell is a fucking knockout. I’d suck a fart out of both their asses though, mind you.

  9. Parveen’s voice is the absolute worst. She’s hot, but overrated by most in the area.
    Hate having to listen to Tony Bruno slobber all over her when she’s on the Fanatic.

  10. Parveen is the most overrated news chick ever. Tells you how ugly a city Philly is. Lol

  11. Crossing board is falling off. Are you on drugs….I don’t think whole second half of this post even makes sense let alone be funny.
    Get a grip Kyle. This used to be my favorite website.
    PS stop with the annoying poltic tweets n shit.

  12. I’m not a woman and I almost never fuck men so I’m not an expert on this topic, but I have to wonder if GQ’s promoting Hartnell is an experiment in women’s psychology: testing the theory that broads will find any man attractive if you tell them that other women want him.

  13. Guaranteed her pussy smells like curry and it’s never been groomed. She’s a nasty whore cunt.

  14. Kurtis – find a way to spin the story in a way that will allow Kyle to live vicariously through the subject’s penis. Also, if you have a news “tip,” be sure to attach a dick pic in your email. The story will be posted within the hour.

  15. I repeat, this may be the most faggot post this site has ever seen
    I’d stuff my donkey dick in her asshole and smear the blood and shit juice all over her filthy face.

  16. Again, I was signed yesterday and Brian Boucher was traded for today. No flyers updates on this site I see.

  17. She is average at best. But Hartnell will fuck anything with a hole. I have known him to troll twitter asking girls for their number… He is so desperate. Sheena is a known athlete chaser and probably is using Hartnell as a way to get around to the other players.

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