A Guy From New England Won Wing Bowl Just as News Broke That El Wingador Had Been Indicted on Cocaine Charges

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Photo of The Bear via reader Kyle

If there was ever an example of large, non-athlete masses imitating the misery that is Philly sports… it would be the time Smarty Jones lost the Triple Crown. But if there was another… it would be today’s Wing Bowl-related developments: A New Englander called The Bear won Philly’s own event, edging out local favorite Super Squibb in front of 22,000 drunk and partially naked Philadelphians while news broke that the city’s avian-eating hero, El Wingador, a former truck driver from New Jersey, was indicted on cocaine charges. 

It’s always sunny here.

image from mobilwi.typepad.com

Joe Green of the South Jersey Times:

Five-time Wing Bowl champion Bill “El Wingador” Simmons was indicted this week on cocaine distribution charges filed in June.

Simmons, 51, is charged with four counts of possession of a controlled dangerous substance (CDS) and one count of manufacturing or distribution of more than a half ounce of cocaine.

He’s also charged with six counts of manufacturing or distribution of more than a half ounce and less than five ounces of the drug and two counts of manufacturing less than half an ounce.


News of Simmons’ arrest first broke in June, so none of this is a surprise, and it’s probably not a coincidence that his indictment was announced, literally, just as Wing Bowl 21 was beginning. Love you, Philadelphia things.

Previously: I got this ridiculous press release about El Wingador


31 Responses

  1. The Boston guy looks like he’s on deer antler & el wingador is alright in my book. Never knew he parted

  2. El Wingador is a big slob. Know someone who knows him and he got what was coming to him. He actually thought being a pig qualified him for celebrity status. So I am guessing from today’s outcome that New Englandites are even bigger pigs than we are. Philly coming in behind again, LOL!

  3. Now i wonder what local restaurant chain wingador “trained” at? musta been a place with pretty good wings.

  4. Didn’t know Tom Brady’s butt buddy was in Wing Bowl, and he won,looks like he LOVES the COCK!
    “Bend over and I’ll show you”

  5. Just paid some stripper at the gold club to suck my dick. So good so good

  6. So the big question is will Kyle actually post the pictures of drunken half-naked Delco wingettes trash over the weekend or is he taking his usual 2 day break from copying and pasting?

  7. Christ. What, does ALL of Delaware County pack into the Wells Fargo Center every year to watch this nonsense? They sit there and cheer on these animals, laugh at witless Cataldi, and fake-lust after the cheerleaders as if their tiny pricks could form an erection after years of arterial abuse. SMH

  8. My buddy worked at a restaurant the Angelo frequented a lot in the 90’s and dipped his balls into his food every chance he got. The man is a legend.

  9. Delco slores line up each year to gargle nutbutter just for the chance to be able to say Bernie Parent wanked his flaccid cock off on my third-rate fake tits!

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