I’m Over Doug Collins


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Let’s just pile on the Sixers.

I’ve had enough of Doug Collins.

I don’t get why he gets a free pass in Philadelphia. Sure, everything was great for the first two seasons, and we all loved hearing how passionate our coach was. Doug came out for post-game press conferences sweating, literally wearing his emotions on his damp, baggy and stretched out sleeves. But, at some point, it became annoying. You certainly can’t blame Collins for the collection of misfits that he coaches, but you can blame him for being so intense, such a micromanager, that his players tune him out. Collins’ crazy, dilated-pupil stare, which reminds you of the most nutso girlfriend you’ve ever had, makes you wonder if he truly loves coaching… or if he can’t live without it and oh my god if my guys ever quit on me I’ll find them and kill them and slice them up into little pieces nom nom nom nom eat them right up because that’s something that, surely, Jodie Foster would be proud of. I can’t tell which it is. But I’ve had enough of his I’m trying so hard and don’t know what to do so I’ll just shrug, throw all of my players under the bus, and address only Bob Cooney by name in post-game pressers routine, which contrasts starkly with his over-the-top defending of any millionaire who gets a sore ankle because he, too, was once injured and gets it. I can’t stand that. And the icing on the cake came last night, when Collins asked us to pray for Andrew Bynum, who made $17 million this year to drive his Ferrari to the bowling alley and fuck cocktail waitresses, as he undergoes a somewhat routine surgery. Douglas:

“It’s been a tough year for Andrew. I’ve talked about this before… as a man who suffered injuries, as a young player, it’s devastating. I can only imagine what’s racing through his mind right now. I hope we all keep him in prayer. He’s not played for us this year, but he’s still a 76er.”

“I feel badly I didn’t get a chance to coach him this year. I think he would have been an incredible player for us this year. And I just want to wish him well. When you give up a lot for a player and a player comes in and doesn’t play, sometimes we don’t realize the pain that player feels. Sometimes we look at a player and his exterior, and maybe don’t understand how they absorb things internally. And I know Andrew, just in talking to him, how badly he wanted to play this year and be part of the team and help us. So let’s wish him with his surgery tomorrow… that he has great results, that Andrew can rehab himself, that he’s going to have a productive career.”

 

Andrew Bynum, on January 28, about his desire to help the Sixers:

“I think right after the All-Star break in my mind,” he said. “I talked about (coming back before the break), but to me it doesn’t really matter when I come back. I think giving myself the extra week of training would be better than trying to come back before that.”

 

Bynum, on February 19, on how he feels internally about fans being upset that he’s, you know, not playing:

“I really could care less. People are going to support me when I’m doing well.”

 

But hey, Doug Collins wants us to pray for him.

image from mobilwi.typepad.com
Pic via Jordan Raanan

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19 Responses

  1. I like Doug Collins when he’s as disgusted with this roster/situation as the rest of us, but I’m also not a fan when he sticks up for a loon that just made upwards of $11 million, to do absolutely nothing for an entire season.
    The Sixers’ could have made a money pyramid out of one dollar bills and recreated the scene from The Dark Knight when the Joker burns that mountain of the mobs money and it would’ve been a better investment.
    The Sixers’ will have the same fate as the Eagles: A lottery pick in a year with a mediocre draft class.

  2. *If I remember correctly, they may have received some cash in the trade towards the loon’s salary….

  3. Oh yeah, cause im sure all you big tough guys would jump at the chance to possibly shatter your knees and never be able to do more than walk briskly on them ever again. Be mad at the management for pulling the trigger on this and advertising it as they did. No, Bynum didn’t handle fan emotions well, but if you honestly blame him for his knees not healing –as if he can just control and will his body to heal one of the trickiest and most devestating sports injuries there is — simply because some asshole posted pictures of him putting gas in his Ferrari on the Internet, then you’re a fucking clown.

  4. And I’m sure all you heroes sitting in your basements would be so noble as to reject an 8 figure contract because of an injury. Yeah..I’ll file that one in the same drawer as, “When pigs fly.”

  5. @ Sal, he also hurt one of those knees while he was fucking bowling. At a time when he was out rehabbing and trying to get better. That could be a reason for the hatred towards him, you pussy.

  6. My God. I can’t believe someone like Sal is actually sticking up for Bynum. Unbelievable.
    As for Collins, I’m done with him as well. Lost in all the lavish praise he dumped in Bynum’s lap was the glaring lack of concern for the fans who were sold a bill of goods by the Sixers who spent good money hoping to see Bynum, but got nothing but dreck instead. Where’s your compassion for the fans, Doug? Bynum got $17 million to sit on his ass when he wasn’t cruising bowling alleys, gas stations and liquor stores while fans got the shaft. DA Seth Williams might have been joking when he talked about investigating the Sixers over the Bynum debacle, but if this doesn’t qualify as consumer fraud, then I don’t know what does.
    Meanwhile, the really frightening part of this whole ugly scenario is that Collins probably was schmoozing Bynum as part of a plan by our clueless front office to resign that lazy bastard whom Tony DiLeo publicly called the team’s “Plan A”. Collins should be fired after the season ends because he’s fried, same with DiLeo if he’s even thinking about bringing Bynum back which would be a HUGE mistake.

  7. I know you’re all complaining that he’s talking about the Sixers today because you don’t care about them, but I for one hope he continues writing about them today because I don’t want that heartless pussy ass piece of shit Flyers team to even get acknowledged after they grabbed their ankles the way they did last night. Fuck them, I hope their plane crashes on the way back to Philly and I HOPE Lavs gets fired so he can go win a cup with a team that cares about playing hockey, unlike the Flyers who care about hockey as much as Bynum cares about playing for the Sixers.
    Fucking assholes.

  8. I’m glad you wrote that Chris. I’m in the mood to open someone’s head up with a crowbar today and you seem like the perfect candidate.

  9. Collins is just being as “PC” as he can be. You all KNOW he want’s to say “Fuck muthafucking Bynum and his gimpy ass knees, he never intended on ever getting onto the court for the Sixers. NEVER. He pulled the wool over our eyes and so did LA. We fell for it hook line and sinker. We are fools.”
    He can’t do that. He wants to continue to coach, if not for us then somebody else. Throwing players under the bus by him was an emotional mistake and i’m sure he doesn’t want to do it again.

  10. You guy all epitomize stupid Philadelphia fans. Collins is a shitty coach? What? Fire him? Did any of you watch ONE FUCKING GAME before he came? Can you even remember the coaches we’ve had since Larry Brown? Ayers? O’brien? Di’Leo? Cheeks? EDDIE FUCKIN JORDAN? Jesus fuckin Christ, this guy was a COACH OF THE YEAR CANDIDCATE TWO YEARS IN A ROW! You are all fuckin morons, how is it his fault Philadelphia has arguably the worst ownership in sports! Did Doug sign Kwame Brown, Nick Young, Dorrell Wright or ROYAL FUCKIN IVY thinking they would actually be productive and make that joke of a team productive? You guys really are fuckin morons. Actually, let’s go back even further, did Doug draft Evan Turner over Demarcus Cousins or Derrick Favors even though people said the Sixers needed young big men to take over because their are ineffective and old? So now it’s his fault Evan Turner is the most streaky, inconsistent player in the league? Have any of you watched the game when Doug “threw everyone under the bus”? Everyone gave up, all it was was Evan Turner vs. the world trying to prove everyone he wasn’t a bust. Everyone gave up and I don’t see that as his fault, I see that as shitty ownership signing all of these bums and actually thinking they will be productive. Literally, the only complaint I have of the guy is why the fuck does Charles Jenkins even smell the floor and then I remember oh wait, because there is no one else. Because we have literally the shittiest core group of guys in the world and to all of you jerkoffs who don’t know one thing about what you’re talking about (including Kyle Scott), they’re for the most part all gone this summer with a huge free agency class that the morons in the higher ups will still manage to fuck up and then Kyle Scott can cash in with witty headlines and bullshit articles. You fucking bandwagon piece of shit but hey, I’ll still probably read it.

  11. You’re a bunch of fuckin faggots. Did the team prohibit him from bowling? Did the doctors prohibit him from bowling? Again, I’m not saying I like him, but I dont let a bunch of arbitrary pictures of him doing ordinary things make me lose sight of whose fault this really is. You guys see pictures of him socializing or shopping and somehow think he should be laying in a hyperbolic chamber for 24 hours a day with feeding tubes hooked into him. Think for yourselves, morons

  12. I second that completely ^. Kyle Scott literally has people send him pictures of Bynum doing whatever a normal person does to exploit him for his own pleasure and profit. Bynum can’t fill his car up without some douchebag who reads this blog asking for a picture for the hilarious “Images of a Loon” segment. The dude isn’t perfect by far, actually, most of the time he’s an asshole. However, as a human being, I understand that basic human needs must be met, I don’t know let’s say, eating, filling gas, parking your car, walking is a big one and occasionally maybe you have some social life and go bowling a very non-strenuous exercise that 98% of people would agree you have a relatively low chance of injuring yourself. Is it Bynum’s fault he was given a big contract or is it his fault the doctor’s told him not to play? That being said, Brandon Roy, who has the same condition tried to come back, is it his fault it just didn’t work? Personally, I want Al Jefferson this off season (if Kyle Scott knows who that is)and JR Smith (I couldn’t imagine the racist segment Kyle Scott would launch after that acquisition) and then say goodbye, Bynum and just say sorry it didn’t work. But all of you people are under the impression that the amount of money this dude is making is somehow going to cure his knees and Kyle Scott has done nothing but manipulate all of you into going beyond this guys real personality and wishing literally nothing but the worst possible thing for the guy and wishing his Ferrari blew up while driving instead of just saying, hey, it didn’t work time to move on. FUCK KYLE SCOTT.

  13. Mr I park my car in the fire lane can go fuck himself. I won’t feel bad for someone making millions to do absolutely jack crap. He doesn’t even hang around with the team. He should be on the bench clapping if he was half a team player. Dudes a fucking bum. Good thing I hate fucking basketball. For mindless street tards. See this ball, put it in that basket. A smart man’s game for sure. If I bought into the sixers crap this year I would never buy a ticket again. You already know who wins the championship before the season even starts! FUCK THAT SHIT! That being said, I’d let people trash talk me 24/7 for even a million bucks! Yes lets feel sorry for this freak of nature dumbfuck.

  14. When people in Philly say “Why does so and so get a pass”, they mean, “Why doesn’t everybody treat that athlete/coach like shit too?”
    We don’t have to treat EVERY athlete/coach like shit just because he’s in Philly, do we? I’m seriously asking.

  15. Great article! He’s a BAD COACH! He can analyze very nicely, but he can’t lead! He would make an awesome assistant coach! He micromanages and I get sick of hearing him and I’m not even playing. If I were a sixer I would quit playing for him too. BTW Evan is a beast he just needs to be let loose. Let him make mistakes this yr, he’ll learn from them just like Jrue did.

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