Your Monday Morning Roundup: Blowing Four-Spots Edition!

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Chef Chad Durbin serving up another meatball

The Phillies managed to urinate away two 4-0 leads this weekend, dropping two of three to the (impressive) Royals at Citizens Bank Park. The Phils would have been swept if Kevin Frandsen didn’t do his best Jimmy Rollins.

Let’s hit it!


But first, a word from our sponsors:

Just a few quarters. Get 75 cent Miller High Lifes every Thursday at Lucy’s. Adam Sandler quizzo next Wednesday at 8:30 p.m. at Drinker’s Tavern.

Legs. Get $24.95 all-you-can-eat snow crabs legs every Wednesday at Chickie’s and Pete’s. Find me next Tuesday at Chickie’s and Pete’s on the Boulevard at 8 p.m. for quizzo.

Lock it up. No, you lock it up! Godfather Locks is excited to introduce you to Steve Stone for all your MLB plays. You can (and should) follow Steve Stone (@SteveStoneLocks) and Godfather Locks (@GodfatherLocks) on Twitter. You know, if you want to win money and stuff.

Cheesesteak head. Meet the Bens, Revere and Roethlisberger, at Sports Vault in the King of Prussia Mall. Details and tickets here.

Throw it back! Monkey’s Uncle in Doylestown has a great selection of retro Phillies gear. You can shop online and use code BROAD to take $10 off orders of $50 or more

Wacky, wonderful, bunch of throwbacks. Celebrate the 20th anniversary of the 1993 Phillies with Philly Phaithful’s line of t-shirts honoring Dutch, Mitch, Krukker and others. Lady? Check out Broad Street Broad and use code cb10 to take 10% off all stylish and trendy – and sexy – women’s wear.

Do it like Tiger. Golf, that is. Our newest sponsor, Tour Golf Revolution allows you to play competitive golf by creating your very own PGA style golf tour. Their unique, open playing format will allow you to grow your tour faster than ever. You play golf, their site handles the rest. Very cool service worth checking out.


The roundup:


Mind you, David Montgomery said nothing funny here

During the opener on Friday, David Montgomery joined T-Mac and Wheels in the booth. Wheels slobbered all over his longtime boss like the best brown noser your office has ever seen. He even went so far as to just repeat what Montgomery was saying… because that has to be right!

Montgomery: Kyle Kendrick’s just another guy to root for, isn’t he?

T-Mac and Wheels in unison: Yeah.

Montgomery: He really is.

Wheels: He really is.

Until you score. Until you score.

As if Wheels’ overzealous fluffing of his boss wasn’t enough, there was T-Mac, reading from the Phillies PR script. So David, what are you looking forward to most about the start of the new season?

Thanks, Tom. I’m guessing that, next time, you’ll leave out the fact the that the Phillies didn’t sell out on Saturday and Sunday?

Philly Mag put together an exhaustive list of calorie counts for food at Citizens Bank Park.

Oh hey speaking of Philly Mag… they had a very bad week last week. In the most recent issue – the one with the lengthy article about Chase Utley – Anthony Gargano wrote an engaging story about a former Marine sniper who struggles to deal with the fact that he killed thousands. Problem: the guy made most of it up. Both Philly Mag editor Tom McGrath and Gargano issued apologies (conveniently on Friday afternoon just before the Phillies home opener…) admitting that major red flags were ignored for the sake a good story. Both McGrath and Gargano also owned up to what amounts to recklessness. But this line, from McGrath, raises an eyebrow:

In a series of conversations on Wednesday and Thursday, Boudreau, who claims a residence in Chester County, acknowledged that much of what he had told Gargano over the preceding several months—information he had also confirmed to Philadelphia magazine’s fact-checker—was either embellished or flat-out fabricated. While he continues to say he served in the Marines—a fact we are attempting to officially confirm with the Marine Corps—he acknowledged that he was never a sniper and that many of the incidents he described to Gargano never happened.

How, in the world, do you let a story about a Marine get published without ever checking to see if THE GUY WAS EVER A MARINE? And the fact-checking process used the subject of the story as its main source? You can at least understand the writer and editor getting duped by a subject – it’s neither the first nor last time that will happen – but before printing a lengthy feature on a Marine, no one at Philly Mag ever thought to, you know, call the Marines? Eeps.

The Comcast-NBC-ized version of Daily News LivePhilly Sports Talk, will debut on CSN today, and they want you to know about it:

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Great article by Matt Mullin of on the NCAA being exposed:

Monday: Did you see that kid’s bone sticking out of his leg?

Tuesday: Did someone say Rutgers?

Wednesday: Auburn had to cheat their asses off to steal a title from Alabama, huh?

Thursday: Sure, Mark Emmert comes off as extremely likeable, in the same way Napoleon did.

Friday: Did you hear that the head of Pac-12 officiating resigned?RUTGERS!

In a series of Tweets eulogizing the 2012-2013 Sixers, Adam Aron admitted that the last few weeks of basketball – for which the Sixers are happy to take your money – was just filler:

Sixers lose Bucks win. No playoffs. What we all have known for a while is reality. 100% focus on next season. Much work to do in the summer. It was not the season we wanted or expected. But now is the time to look ahead. We will work tirelessly to build a winner for Philadelphia. Thank you for fan support all year. Many showed love; many roasted us. But even criticism prompted by the passion we all share — TO WIN.

But don’t worry, Sixers fans, if you have tickets to the April 14 game against the Cavs, the last home game, there’s still a big deal before the game:

There might be an outdoor hockey game at Dodger Stadium.

Only in Florida: woman accuses boss of ejaculating on here leg, firing her. In that order.

John Cena beat The Rock to win Wrestlemania, got booed.

Finally, Melissa McCarthy is hilarious, and she played an even more evil version of Mike Rice on SNL. Video after the jump.

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11 Responses

  1. Yeah, the Phils should be 1-5 this morning, still, it’s only the first week of the season. I’m not going to even think about pushing the panic button until a full month has come and gone. If the Phightins are still stumbling around like a drunk leaving a bar at 2 a.m., then I’ll go to DEFCON-4.

  2. Why god, WHY is Durbin on this team again?!? Did they not learn their lesson from the first go round? Oh and Cole needs to bring back that porn ‘stache ASAP!

  3. im with thephillyflash on this one. its not exactly time to hit the panic button and declare the season over, but is is very disappointing to have watched the phillies blow 4-run leads twice this weekend. then again, i was at saturday night’s game and it was awesome to watch them battle back in the 9th. starting pitching and middle relief are just not getting it done for us. a team ERA of 7.10 and 5 guys who have +10 for ERA is absolutely killing us! no wonder our run differential is -16 already!

      1. “Just keep scrolling: No more clicking over to page 2 to read more. Just keep scrolling and hit “older posts.”


  4. I heard they had to close xfinity for a couple hours to get the smell of Delco trash out. I can see Big Ben raping a girl this weekend

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