Jayson Werth told Todd Zolecki that he had nothing to do with the Phanatic’s ATV breaking down. He also said that the Phanatic TALKED TO HIM:

“I don’t know how to hotwire anything. No, I didn’t have anything to do with it unfortunately. It would have been funny if I did. (laughs) I watched the video and he’s sitting there talking to me, “I can’t get the thing to start.” It was funny. I saw it. It was hilarious. The whole thing was funny.”

Annnnnnnd I just found out there’s no Santa.

Werth himself is never short on words. Word about winningWords about his former teamWords about making sure we never walk down Broad in celebration again. Those sorts of words.

And words about his bedroom… er, right field at CBP. Here’s what he had to say about that to Zolecki: []

“When I went out to shag flies in right yesterday, it was like going home to your parents’ house after you had gone away to school,” Werth said. “I went and played baseball, but it’s like coming back after that first year and going back to your old bedroom, you know? I remember this room.”

That’s nice. Jayson likely shagged in both his bedroom and in right… but presumably he never choked a chicken in the CBP outfield.