Jayson Werth Just Ruined the Phanatic

Phanatic

Jayson Werth told Todd Zolecki that he had nothing to do with the Phanatic’s ATV breaking down. He also said that the Phanatic TALKED TO HIM:

“I don’t know how to hotwire anything. No, I didn’t have anything to do with it unfortunately. It would have been funny if I did. (laughs) I watched the video and he’s sitting there talking to me, “I can’t get the thing to start.” It was funny. I saw it. It was hilarious. The whole thing was funny.”

Annnnnnnd I just found out there’s no Santa.

Werth himself is never short on words. Word about winningWords about his former teamWords about making sure we never walk down Broad in celebration again. Those sorts of words.

And words about his bedroom… er, right field at CBP. Here’s what he had to say about that to Zolecki: [Phillies.com]

“When I went out to shag flies in right yesterday, it was like going home to your parents’ house after you had gone away to school,” Werth said. “I went and played baseball, but it’s like coming back after that first year and going back to your old bedroom, you know? I remember this room.”

That’s nice. Jayson likely shagged in both his bedroom and in right… but presumably he never choked a chicken in the CBP outfield.

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26 Comments

  • Talbot's Fucking Penis June 19, 2013 at 3:44 pm

    September 24, 2010 my world came crashing down. As I’m over in Jersey stocking up on Irish Weekend drinking supplies, I came across the Phanatic at the McDonald’s across from Roger Wilco. Right before the picture was taken, he uttered “Let’s Go Phillies!”…I haven’t been the same since that day.

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  • Mr. Baseball June 19, 2013 at 4:01 pm

    Werth knew how to work a count. Rube should have resigned him

    • Talbot's Fucking Penis June 19, 2013 at 4:06 pm

      For what the National’s signed him for?…you’re high on PCP, my friend.

  • Marcus Vick #5 June 19, 2013 at 5:39 pm

    Anyone who blames Werth for taking the retarded money they threw at them is a fucking idiot. He’s still decent enough to take pictures with Phillies fans in Vegas even if they’re wearing the faggiest cockfest shirt of all time (Kyle show that picture again).

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