Flyers Beat Writers Move Destroyers into Gulf of Pettiness

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After more than a week of inflammatory rhetoric, several Flyers beat writers escalated tensions last night by moving battleships into the Gulf of Pettiness, located just between Old World Media and the island formerly known as Dry.

The move was in response to the Flyers’ initial refusal to engage in dialogue following yet another loss, this one to the Phoenix Coyotes. The team lost Scott Hartnell and Vincent Lecavalier to upper- and lower-body injuries, respectively, in the 2-1 defeat.

But it was the media’s response after the game that has some asshole bloggers concerned:


Giroux finally offered the media an olive branch, but officials say the damage may have already been done. The Tweets from the beat writers were just the latest move following days of whining, complaining and secret meeting-ing.

Actually can’t blame the reporters for being upset here. It’s customary for 3-4 players to speak after a game, and following Hartnell’s shot at Kevin Cooney on Wednesday and Craig Berube telling Mike Sielski to “get lost” on Tuesday, it’s obvious that players and coaches are now joining the fight against scriptuals. Which isn’t terrible– because at least it’s providing some entertainment that their on-ice play isn’t.

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  • evan October 12, 2013 at 1:11 pm

    Maybe a common enemy can galvanize this team. It certainly can’t be any worse…

  • Dr love October 12, 2013 at 1:25 pm

    This whole episode is completely lame and meaningless. Hockey beat writer – thanks for helping make this world a better place. And hockey players – good thing you can play hockey because there’s an Esso in Flin Flon looking for a pump jockey.

  • Dirk Anger October 12, 2013 at 1:25 pm

    Gotta side with the writers on this one. Your top defenseman, captain, & moron that took the stupid penalty that lead to an opposing goal, don’t wanna come out to talk after the game because………… Who knows?
    Dumb, bush league nonsense. They’re highly paid athletes that know the deal regarding the post game interviews.
    Also does anybody agree that Giroux would be a much better player without the burden of the all important C on his chest? Dude has been pretty damn mediocre at best since they promoted him.

    • H.H. Holmes October 12, 2013 at 3:53 pm

      Right, we wouldn’t want to miss the mindless post-game platitudes of professional hockey players, most of whom are from Canada, the land of insight and personality.

      “Ah, well, you know we, ah, gotta work harder, but ah, I thought we had some good chances, but we, ah, just didn’t get the bounces tonight.”

  • Brian October 12, 2013 at 1:32 pm

    The writers threatened to not cover a charity event because the flyers posted the starting goalie on Instagram. Fuck those writers. Really? You’re gonna hurt sick people because the flyers didn’t let you announce the starting goalie? The flyers certainly suck this year but I’m with them on this. They shouldn’t give those writers a damn thing to write about. Self serving inconsiderate assholes

  • TT Boy October 12, 2013 at 1:47 pm

    Panach is a bad ass

  • H.H. Holmes October 12, 2013 at 2:25 pm


    This media mentality is as antiquated as Ed Snider’s philosophy on how to run a modern NHL franchise.

    Does anyone under the age of 40 seek out these writers to keep up on the Flyers or the NHL? They’re all mediocre journalists who churn out the same repetitive drivel every day, except for the occasional semi-critical column to try to dispel the notion that they’re nothing but an extension of the Flyers PR/marketing department. Now that there’s much more variety and in-depth analysis available through non-traditional media sources, we’re witnessing these increasingly pathetic, passive-aggressive Twitter complaints as they realize how unimportant their roles have become.

    • Andy Schreiber October 12, 2013 at 4:51 pm

      If they are just mindless mouthpieces for the team, why are members of the team & FO personnel always so cranky towards them?

      There has been a LOT to criticize over the last few seasons & the writers (for the most part) have done their jobs in pointing those things out.

  • Da Cuz October 12, 2013 at 2:26 pm

    Don’t mess with Panatch..He’s part of the Russian mafia.

  • Joe October 12, 2013 at 2:46 pm

    Stop using the word “scriptuals.” It’s not a fucking word and it makes you look like a moron.

    • G's Used Anal Beads October 14, 2013 at 9:56 am

      ( sometimes initial capital letter ) of, pertaining to, or in accordance with sacred writings, especially the Scriptures.
      rendered in or related to writing.
      1635–45; < Late Latin scrīptūrālis. See Scripture, -al1

  • Andy Schreiber October 12, 2013 at 4:48 pm

    Even if they may not like certain writers/reporters, the players need to remember that those same writers/reporters are basically there representing (in a sense) the fans. They, like it or not, are our conduit to information & even opinion about our team.

    Hope G starts lighting the lamp soon so everyone can relax & just start playing hockey.

  • Kenny October 12, 2013 at 4:58 pm

    I don`t why you are killing the beat writers, they are doing their jobs.It`s the players jobs to be interviewed after games also, and Giroux is the CAPTAIN of the team, time to put your big boy pants Claude and talk to the media, your getting paid like a big boy now it`s time to answer questions like one. I`ll admit some of the media in the city and i know Kyle has done a AWESOME job of exposing the frauds {Randy Miller} but there are some that do a great job {Sam Carchidi, Panachio}

  • ThePhillyFlash October 12, 2013 at 9:49 pm

    I’m with the writers on this issue. They’re just doing their jobs, and the players, including the so-called “captain” are acting like smacked asses with their petulance. Well, to the writers manning those battleships, I say, fire away! Empty the arsenal! Unload on those miserable dicks who are playing like shit right now.

    • Jimmy Russell October 14, 2013 at 1:44 pm

      their job is worthless. it’s like being a carriage builder when the car’s invented. no one needs them, and they’re angry about it.

  • well October 13, 2013 at 12:55 am

    winless for wiggins!

  • Mike October 13, 2013 at 2:26 am

    There is nothing with less value than “beat” writers for sports teams. This is the age of the internet…time has passed them.

    • Bob October 13, 2013 at 10:33 am

      Kinda like hockey has passed by Ed Snider and Homer

  • Conner Barwin rides THEPTA October 14, 2013 at 12:00 am

    What a bunch of bitches.

  • Lumpy7 October 14, 2013 at 8:09 am

    Why does anyone need to ‘pick a side’? This is going down exactly as it should.
    Team has stunk for a while now, so media finally calls them on it,
    So underperforming players ‘don’t want to talk…waaa’,
    Meanwhile mgmt trying to ‘connect with fans’ / ie make $$ through social media (’cause you’re sure as hell not connecting by winning these days).

    This is all pretty predictable and pedestrian stuff, nothing to see here.

  • Jimmy Russell October 14, 2013 at 1:31 pm

    stay on these faggots. these entitled cunts think the players owe them something and it’s ridiculous. the fuck is claude giroux going to say to some reporter that’s going to make them play better or make me feel better about their shitty play.

  • AL Tru October 15, 2013 at 8:31 am

    If i’m not mistaken, players can be fined for not talking to the media…..i remember Robert Esche being fined after he declined interviews…..

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