Screen Shot 2013-09-06 at 8.47.19 AMI’ve kind of been just staring at this article in befuddled amazement. It’s so blatantly obvious to anyone on Earth watching that Nick Foles is a significantly better quarterback than Michael Vick. Sure, you can’t argue that Vick is a better athlete and, in short bursts, can look like one of the best to ever play the game. But he’s woefully inconsistent, a constant injury risk, and a turnover machine who makes way too many mistakes for a veteran quarterback. And, you know, all Foles has done since Vick went out with an injury is become the best quarterback in the NFL.

The Eagles were 1-3 through the first four games of the season – Vick’s full games – and are 6-2 since. Yet, in making his case that the Eagles, despite their success of late, still miss both Vick and Jeremy Maclin (no argument on the latter), Marcus Hayes writes these words, in this particular order:

Still, this question is intriguing: As potent as the offense has been, where might the Eagles be with Vick and Maclin?

Maybe inside the playoff picture, looking in, instead of just outside.

Maybe 8-4 or 9-3 instead of 7-5.

Maybe 4-1 in the division instead of 3-2; their home loss to the Giants was abysmal.

Vick, behind a sporadic offensive line, carried the offense in the first two games.

Foles, behind a much better assemblage, has pushed the attack ahead.

You know, I wouldn’t be so quick to call Marcus Hayes “a racist” if he didn’t always hate the white guy. Foles and Riley Cooper (whose likeness I imagine is emblazoned on a dartboard somewhere in Hayes’ home) have formed a very good tandem and, as Hayes points out, Cooper is on pace to have a season as good as any of Maclin’s. Sure, having more depth at wide receiver certainly wouldn’t hurt the Eagles, and perhaps they would have an extra win or two with a healthy Maclin, but to couch that argument around Vick, when Foles is beating the world and eating its babies, is completely laughable.

Hayes justifies his silliness by saying that the Eagles finally have a healthy (and effective) offensive line, which gives Foles time in the pocket. What if Vick were afforded the same opportunity?, Marcus asks. But that’s crazy. Throughout his career, Vick has been prone to dumb mistakes. He’s just… not a great quarterback. Fun, athletic, talented– yes. Not a great quarterback. We don’t need a larger sample size. We got it already. He’s inconsistent and not really that good.

But of course Marcus Hayes would argue that the Eagles would be in a better place with him. Of course he would.

Meanwhile, Hayes’ Daily News colleague, Les Bowen, told us more about Foles in three paragraphs yesterday than we’ve learned in two years:

“He likes technology,” said practice-squad QB G.J. Kinne, who lived with Foles for a few months when Kinne first came to the Eagles. “Computers, gadgets, phones, he’s got the new watch that hooks up to your phone . . . In the offseason, he likes to bike and hike and do a lot of nature stuff.”

There is a long-term girlfriend, Tori Moore, a former Arizona volleyball player who works for Nike in Oregon (yes, Chip Kelly irony noted). She is the sister of former Browns tight end Evan Moore, who was briefly an Eagle last season.

Nick’s dad, Larry, the self-made multimillionaire, Austin, Texas, restaurateur, accidentally revealed a few details about her last week and then asked a reporter not to print them, fearing Nick would object. Nick Foles said yesterday she will be moving here.

This would be his girlfriend, who… kind of looks like him?



H/T to reader Andy and (@Banditmax)