Evan Turner Has “Mud Butt” Since He Refused to Wipe His Ass with Spencer Hawes’ Obama Toilet Paper

Kyle Scott | February 14, 2014

There’s a headline I… totally expected to write one day.

I wish I had more commentary to add, but I’m still recovering from my snow day decision to drink my homemade jalapeño infused tequila and top it off with a neighbor’s home-brewed saison and tripel. If you need me, I’ll either be cleaning the bathroom or curled up in the corner wearing sunglasses and sipping on a warm Coke. Happy Valentine’s Day.