Guy Pulled Over for Suspected DUI in Lower Merion on Saturday Claims He Had Been Drinking at Allen Iverson’s “Birthday Party”

Photo credit: Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports
Photo credit: Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

Forget bass boats and fake press conferences, the best way to pay tribute to Allen Iverson may be to get rip-roaringly drunk at (not) his birthday party and then get pulled over for DUI and driving without a license on City Line. Now that’s a spectacular tribute.

From Main Line Media News*, which may have the worst interface I’ve ever seen:

Lower Merion police charged a 24-year-old man from Philadelphia following a traffic stop at City Avenue and Cardinal Avenue on March 1.

According to police, the man was seen speeding as he was driving without the use of headlights as he traveled south on City Avenue. The police officer followed behind the car and reported that the driver was crossing over the traffic lines.

Following the traffic stop, the driver showed the officer a paper learner’s permit.** The man then told the officer that he was drinking at Allen Iverson’s birthday party.

As Dan McQuade of Philly Mag points out, Iverson’s birthday is June 7. So either our perp was on some real good shit or, more likely, he was coming from either the Sixers game, where AI’s number was retired, or some private party we don’t know about OH MY GOD PLEASE LET IT HAVE BEEN AT TGI FRIDAYS IT’S RIGHT NEAR THERE AI BACK IN HIS OLD STOMPING GROUNDS YES!

Anyway, nice job by this kid. The Answer is proud of you. Anyone know about any afterparties?

*One of the top four headlines right now is: “2014 Lower Merion swimming pool fees change again.” Tough times on the Main Line. HOW ARE THEY GOING TO FEED THEIR KIDS?!

**What kind of major fuck up has a learner’s permit at 24? This is worse than that girl in the Wells Fargo commercial who didn’t get her first paycheck until she was 22.

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3 Responses

  1. This actually sounds right, as AI did an autograph signing at Montgomeryville Mall the next day, and he was an hour late and people who met him, for 90 bucks a signature, said he looked hung over and smelled like booze.

  2. “What kind of major fuck up has a learner’s permit at 24? This is worse than that girl in the Wells Fargo commercial who didn’t get her first paycheck until she was 22.”

    I think they are called “Pore people” or something like that. I think I saw them on 60 Minutes. They are like regular people. But they don’t have as much money. I think they are born that way or something. And there was another type called “Sitty People”. They are people who don’t live on the Main Line. They used something called “tranes” to travel in the “sitty”, sometimes they used “Booses” to get around also. I saw it on some nature show. Sometimes they would work and got paid in something called “cache”.

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