Eagles

Asante Samuel’s House is Stupid

By Kyle Scott

Published: May 22nd, 2014 · 9:25 PM EDT

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I think the last time I wrote about Asante Samuel, who seems like kind of a dick, was to point out that he seems like kind of a dick. But today, I’d like to talk about his Florida house, which recently went on sale. It’s absurd:

Dat headboard tho.

The asking price? $12.9 million. Seven bedrooms, seven baths, 15,000 square-feet, and the always necessary maid/in-law quarters.

via 6 ABC, 5300Ascotter.com*

*That comes from the name of the street, Ascot Terrace. The street… is named after a rich man’s neck tie. “Ah yes, get off the Handkerchief Highway, make a right on Custom-Cuff Circle, a left on Fedora, and turn onto Ascot Terrace.” It’s like Wealthy Mario Kart.