Yes, the Taney Kids Deserved a Parade

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Yesterday, a spotty yet rambunctious group of a couple thousand fans watched an undersea-themed float, a Statue of Liberty-themed float, and a Delta Queen-themed float carry a bunch of children (and the Mayor) down Broad Street. The Taney Dragons Little League Team (and family and supporters) started their parade at 20th and Market and ended it at FDR Park with Mayor Nutter declaring yesterday Taney Dragons Day in Philadelphia. Afterwards, they were honored at Citizens Bank Park.

There was a lot of grumbling beforehand, talk saying the Taney kids didn’t deserve a parade because they didn’t win the whole thing. That, of course, didn’t stop a lengthly line from forming to get Erik Lipson’s autograph.

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That also didn’t stop an off-duty Ben Franklin from cycling on over to scope it out:

Casual B. Franks supports Taney Baseball

Casual B. Franks supports Taney Baseball

The Taney team made it to the U.S. Semifinal, the first area team to make it that far since the team from Newtown Square finished in 3rd place in 1967 (a year where the U.S. title was also won by a team from Chicago). They were the first team from the city of Philadelphia to ever make the tournament, and along the way captured the enthusiasm of fans whose efforts were wasted on the Phillies. Sports fans and people who don’t care at all were wrapped up in the story of a multi-racial, inner-city team with a girl pitcher who threw the ball 70 m.p.h. Mo’ne Davis was on the cover of Sports Illustrated. She was called a “national treasure.” SportsCenter broke down the science of her delivery.

Note the police officer walking alongside the float, there solely to protect the Mayor

Note the police officer walking alongside the float, there solely to protect the Mayor

Davis and her teammates (including Kyle’s favorite, ZION SPEARMAN, holding a small child above) captured the attention of an entire city in the sports vacuum of late summer. In stretches, the parade was a total mob scene. At the first stopping point, in front of the Kimmel Center, it was nearly impossible to navigate the sidewalk and difficult to hear the Mayor speaking from the podium that was about twenty feet away. The chanting and cheering was nearly constant. At one point, summing up the whole parade, an accented woman asked no one in particular “What’s this for?” A passerby answered in her general direction, without ever slowing down, “LITTLE LEAGUE WORLD SERIES,” leaving the accented woman to ask to herself, “Statue of Liberty?”

No, they didn’t win. But if we throw parades for millionaires who aren’t from here when they win championships (and we definitely should), then we can throw a damn parade for a bunch of born and bred Philly kids, playing for the love of the game, who became the coolest story in sports. The Taney Dragons are Philadelphia, and they deserved to be honored.

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  • Daryl the Jerk August 28, 2014 at 3:15 pm

    Parades are for Championships… They did not make it to the Championship, let alone win.

  • Walter Sobchak August 28, 2014 at 3:22 pm

    Thank you Jim. Getting really tired of these jaded douche canoes that have never won anything in their life, bitching about these kids getting honored so much when they didn’t win the whole shebang.

    I equate this to a team winning their state championship, but losing at nationals, and getting a parade when they come home from said nationals to honor their state championship and their season. They still won. Maybe not at the level that some of these elitist dickbags wanted them to, but they won. They won a fuckgillion games to get to be the 4th best team in the world.

    Fucking. Amateurs.

    • Daryl the Jerk August 28, 2014 at 3:47 pm

      So you’re saying any team that wins a state title should get a parade now? And 4th in the world? No. They got beat twice and you can’t leave out the teams South Korea had to beat to get there…

    • Hullsy August 28, 2014 at 4:27 pm

      Jesus fucking Christ stfu you dickbag. 4th best? FOH ain’t nothing to be proud of the international teams are better and taney would’ve been out by the second game of the tourney.

    • Catch a damned pass August 28, 2014 at 7:36 pm

      HEY. I won a men’s league championship in my rookie season.

    • Catch a damned pass August 28, 2014 at 7:39 pm

      hahahhaha these kids will be slinging dope in a few years. scumbags.

    • World champion August 28, 2014 at 8:20 pm

      Motherfucker I won the Stanley cup in NHL, Super Bowl in Madden, World Series in mlb the show, the Barclays premier league in FIFA, and killed pussies like you in assassins creed. My credentials out trumps any of yours. You’re the fucking amateur you test tube fuck

  • Milton Street August 28, 2014 at 3:23 pm

    The Love Park thing and the Phillies game were plenty. Last time I checked the school district was $81m in debt. What a joke.

    • Bob August 28, 2014 at 3:55 pm

      Rather give City $ for this than the JayZ ‘show’ this weekend.

  • The 1-2-3 Kid August 28, 2014 at 3:29 pm

    Top 5 Most Annoying things from the summer of 2014:

    1) the Taney dragons overexposure
    2) the ice bucket challenge
    3) the song rude by magic
    4) people saying bae
    5) tony Bruno leaving 97.5

  • Kyle's Baby Nuts August 28, 2014 at 3:33 pm

    No love for the Broomall-Newtown squad that actually WON the Babe Ruth World Series?

    • Daryl the Jerk August 28, 2014 at 3:42 pm

      They didnt have a girl on their team. No one cares.

    • JeffJuden August 29, 2014 at 12:49 pm

      Kyle couldn’t make a shirt about them so they do not matter.

  • mk August 28, 2014 at 3:42 pm

    They did NOT deserve a parade. The deserved to be recognized, but did not deserve a parade. A parade is for when you win a championship.

  • Phil from Mt. Airy August 28, 2014 at 4:09 pm

    So this is where the cowardly racist white males hang out at.

    • Chase Utley, something something Racist something Blacks August 29, 2014 at 9:41 am

      Hey Phil, did you see Mo’Ne Davis shake her favorite player, Chase Utley’s hand at the game the other day?

      Your show sucks and your opinions suck. You should feel bad.

    • James Earl Ray August 29, 2014 at 10:53 am

      Fuck you Fhil you pussy!!! I got something for ya!

    • JeffJuden August 29, 2014 at 12:50 pm

      You sound like Hannibal Burress, only unfunny and annoying.

  • Smarty Jones August 28, 2014 at 4:21 pm

    Hey Nutter, When are you going to call me about my much overdue parade. I am free anytime next week except Wednesday when I will be servicing the ladies if you know what I mean.

  • col. slade August 28, 2014 at 4:31 pm

    To all the jagoffs who don’t think they deserved a parade….fuuuuuck youuuuuuuu! They got one (you can’t take it from them) .get over it….and yourselves…now go back to kicking puppies …u miserable’ fucks

    • srl19 August 29, 2014 at 8:07 am

      You can’t take it from them!


  • UQ August 28, 2014 at 4:34 pm

    Philadelphia…where we love celebrating mediocrity and are desperate for recognition for being the home town of the next big thing. Here’s a trophy…Vote for me!

  • Ay Dawg Ay August 28, 2014 at 4:56 pm

    Having a girl on your team and then losing before you even get to the championship doesn’t get you a parade in any city outside of this dump anymore.

    Stop celebrating mediocrity you clowns.

  • CJ August 28, 2014 at 5:09 pm

    Jeez, what a bunch of jaded assholes. These kids did the city proud and brought people together. Would you rather have Ferguson-level rioting going on in our streets, or people celebrating the Taney Dragons? Find something else to bitch about.

    • Ted Danson August 28, 2014 at 5:25 pm

      Are you one of those people who bring up Hitler to win YouTube arguments?

      • CJ August 28, 2014 at 5:45 pm

        My point is that to many people, their accomplishments ARE worth celebrating, and it’s a waste of energy being that upset about it with much more important things going on.

    • Captain Obvious August 28, 2014 at 5:33 pm

      I’d rather we celebrated things worth celebrating, with no riots.

      Raise the bar.

  • James Earl Ray August 28, 2014 at 6:13 pm

    NO! The Taney kids did NOT deserve a parade! Parades are for championships! If this team was mostly white, there’s no way they would have got one in this black controlled city!!!

  • Mr. Whipple August 28, 2014 at 6:20 pm

    They can’t afford toilet paper in the fucking schools, yet they waste money on a parade to celebrate a team that was pretty good? Sure, makes sense… in Bizarro World!

    If it was a bunch of white kids from Fox Chase (I’d have picked Mayfair but…you know) nobody would care!

    Please don’t squeeze the Charmin!

  • Buff Bagwell August 28, 2014 at 6:20 pm

    No they didn’t deserve a parade…a pep really or something small would’ve been ok…the thing at the phillies game last night was waaaaayyyyy overblown…maybe have them come out and throw the first pitch …. But to delay a MLB game 45 min for them is way too much… And the ONLY reason they got all this attention is because their best player was an African American girl… You take her off the team and would’ve barely heard anything….can’t wait til 10 years from now and half of them are murder suspects

  • Cool sideways photo of Ben Franklin August 28, 2014 at 6:36 pm

    Well done, Jimbo.

  • Mike August 29, 2014 at 12:46 am

    No, losers don’t deserve parades.

  • Second Opinion August 29, 2014 at 9:50 am

    Great idea for a movie, The Bad News Dragons. Has a girl as a pitcher, but they still lose.

  • Jack Parkman August 29, 2014 at 10:23 am

    I’d go deep on every one of their pitchers

  • blue89 August 29, 2014 at 11:11 am

    I think you present, a fair argument, in this case, but I can’t say that I agree, with it, because they failed, ultimately, and this is a big waste of money, and a shameless attempt at milking the publicity cow, that is this little league team, and that much, is obvious.

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