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And that should just about do it for the Jonathan Papelbon era in Philadelphia. He left us with a lasting image of the 2014 Phillies that we can all hang on our walls. Right next to images of Brad Lidge on his knees, Milt Thompson scaling the wall in San Diego, Doc hugging Chooch, there will be Papelbon… grabbing his dick, a gesture at least more memorable than dopey Kevin Millwood tossing his hat into the stands.

Let’s hit it!

 

But first, a word from our sponsors:

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Signing. Meet Doc and Chooch and Bunning at the Philadelphia Sports Card and Memorabilia Show on September 27. Details and tickets here.

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Tickets. We have the best available tickets for Eagles games on the secondary market rounded up at Crossing Broad Tickets.

NRG Energy. The good folks at NRG are responsible for all those wind turbines and solar panels down at the Linc, and we’ll be working with them this year to bring you some great giveaways.

 

The roundup:

Les Bowen got into a chirp fest with a colleague again.

“Tommy Up’s friend” is auctioning off LeSean McCoy’s receipt on eBay.

Can’t imagine why Riley Cooper doesn’t want people taking videos of him. Email from reader Nick:

So tonight, some friends and I were at Xfinity Live for the Billy Currington concert. After the show we thought we saw a guy who looked like Riley Cooper. One of my friends went up and asked “should I play you on my fantasy team on Monday” to which Cooper responded “I’m not playing Monday”. So now we had confirmation it was Riley Cooper. Well we took a few picture from a distance as Cooper and friends were having a good time. My friend goes to send a snapchat video of Cooper dancing and Coopers friend points out my buddy. Next thing you know Cooper and his even bigger friend come over to us, spin my friend around and Riley Cooper snatches his phone from him saying “pull them up and delete them. You think I don’t know you were sending a video chat? Delete them now!” As he is going through my buddy’s phone deleting pictures and video and even going as far as pulling up Instagram and snapchat to see if he posted pictures or video. He finally gives the phone back and says “we are just trying to have a good time. Stop filming us.” We were all shocked at how he behaved. Dude, you are a public figure at a public bar and concert, no need to loose your shit. I guess we should be happy he didn’t call us n****rs and threaten to fight us.

Here is a picture I got before he turned around and came at our group.

Riley Cooper is in the white tshirt with the pony tail. The guy that pointed us out was the guy in the black shirt with the pony tail.

Nick

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I don’t think he was being serious about not playing tonight. Here’s another account, via Twitter. Not sure if it’s part of the same group:

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You’re Riley Cooper, hanging out at Xfinity Live!, what do you expect?

No, Five, it isn’t ironic… don’t you think?

Voila_Capture 2014-09-15_09-04-30_AMThe Sixers showed off their new patch– something every team that has won a championship will get:

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Dan McQuade (@dhm) has a better idea for what is should say:

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Mike Sielski, weirdly, argues for the ideal image of an NFL quarterback– rich white kid [UPDATE: I’ve been asked by Sielski to change my false reading of his story, so I’ll go with my second reaction to it– what a stupid story this is]:

But contrary to all that legend-building of the past, it’s those similar backgrounds that might make Luck and Foles the ideal modern-day NFL quarterbacks. An ESPN study earlier this year found that the NFL’s 32 primary starting quarterbacks last season, Foles and Luck among them, came from zip codes with a mean income of $95,138. That income figure was more than 85 percent above the national average. More, 23 of those quarterbacks played high school football at public schools, particularly at “well-off districts” that “pour enormous amounts of public money into” the sport – a description that fits the environments that helped to form Foles and Luck as quarterbacks.

Um, OK.

Jamaal Charles, on whom Andy Reid encouraged a little tattooing, Texas-thing in training camp, left the game yesterday with an ankle injury. X-rays were negative, but Charles will get an MRI today. But this is my favorite part of the PFT story:

The injury came after only three touches — two rushes for four yards and one catch for nine. For the season, Charles has nine rushing attempts for 23 yards.

And a year after starting 9-0, the Chiefs have started 2014 at 0-2.

– happy emoticon –

Sports team values:

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Now we know why Joshua Harris is OK with a slow rebuild. That uptick in 2012– we’ll call it the sports are the only thing people watch live anymore inflection point.

Oklahoma State football player looks like he was about to squeeze the helmet on live TV.

Gus Johnson is stepping down as FOX’s soccer announcerRise and fired? Thanks, I’m here all week.

Marcus Vick is a dumb-dumb:

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via (@Hockeyjunkie88)

Sweet everything on Bryz here:

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I’ve seen some Shadying on Twitter lately:

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via (@akleinnn)

Personally, I prefer Papelboning:

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via (@EFQZ1)

via (@PeteBlackburn)

via (@PeteBlackburn)

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Speaking of dicks, Jayson Werth got kicked out of his fantasy football league because he is one:

The outfielder is in the fourth year of a seven-year, $126 million contract with the Nats, but that didn’t stop him from being so late with his league payment that his teammates decided it would be best to kick him out.

“We kicked Jayson Werth out of the league this year,” reliever Craig Stammen told The Washington Post. “Jayson failed to pay last year. He didn’t pay until spring training, so we kicked him out of the league for late payment.”

Shady shoe.

Jason Peters blocks like he’s in a ballet:

“This is going to sound a little weird, but to me, that’s what it looked like, a ballet,” Kelce said. “Jason has this weird way of moving where he never seems like he’s off balance. He’s so graceful. His feet are always in the right place. He’s got this body control that you don’t really see at the offensive line position.”

Microsoft has acquired Minecraft and will probably ruin it.

I don’t think it’s possible for Kanye West to be a bigger asshole– he encouraged two kids in wheelchairs to stand up at his concert.

 

Podcast
NJ.com writer Eliot Shorr-Parks joins me and Jim for our second annual Eagles season preview. Listen. New episode this week.