It’s fitting that on the day the Philly Voice – an online news outlet with many staffers poached from the Philly.com ranks – launches, two of our favorite old-timers at the Inquirer and Daily News, Les Bowen and Sam Carchidi, churned out some utter nonsense.
First up, ink-stained Bowen, who seemingly has an axe to grind with Chip Kelly due to the coach’s lack of availability. Les has been on a tear of late, ripping into Kelly with bad jokes about his love of Oregonians:
Yesterday, Les said more when he penned a quiz(!)* full of punchlines that wouldn’t have elicited a response from even the saddest of trombones. A sampling:
1. When evaluating a player in the draft process, which of the following questions seems most pertinent?
A. What is his 40 time?
B. How are his onfield instincts/recognition skills?
C. Did we recruit him at Oregon?
2. The greatest computer/video game of all time is:
A. Assassin’s Creed
B. Call of Duty
C. The Oregon Trail
C! C! HA. HA. I get it! Oh you silly goose, Les.
*This is the same guy who ragged on Jimmy Kempski for using stick figures and such.
Meanwhile, in other lazy prose, Flyers beat writer and Baseball Hall of Fame voter Sam Carchidi took the low-hanging fruit today and wrote about Pierre-Eduoard Bellemare’s tacit connection to the Charlie Hebdo terrorist attacks, because Bellemare is French, DUH!
Bellemare, who earlier this season became the ninth French-born player to reach the NHL, said none of his friends or relatives were killed or injured. He has a younger sister who lives in Paris, far from where the shootings took place.
“Thank God,” he said. “I think of the people who died, and it’s almost too crazy to think it’s real. I mean, having lived in Paris, you never think something like that can happen to a town like us, but surely it did.” Bellemare said he used to live “in the neighborhood” in which chaos reigned Wednesday morning.
On Tuesday, Bellemare led the way as the Flyers’ penalty-killing unit went 4 for 4, contributing to the team’s 2-1 shootout win over visiting Ottawa.
OH MY GOD THE WHIPLASH FROM THAT TERRORIST ATTACK-PENALTY KILLING TRANSITION. My neck, it’s hurting! And I mean THANK GOD none of Bellemare’s relatives were among the 12 victims in Paris, a city with a population of over 2.2 million people. Asking Bellemare if he had any family killed in the attack is akin to asking someone if their best friend was murdered at Columbine upon learning they’re from Denver, or asking a black woman from LA if her brother was Rodney King. Good stuff, Sam. Way to crowbar yourself into a story. Now will someone please find out if Tony Parker’s kin is safe? I need to know that they’re OK! OH LORD PLEASE TELL ME PARKER ISN’T FROM A FAMILY OF SATIRICAL CARTOONISTS!!!!