Sam Donnellon Wants The Truth!

Chip_court

I’ve long had a problem not with the concept but with the practice of sport columnery, where senior writers are given a finite space to fill on a typically predetermined, regular basis. Just like the problem with 24-7 news networks, where air needs to be exhaled whether there’s actual news or not, the columnist is forced to opine and feign outrage on often inferior issues undeserving of their platform. It’s a symptom of the concept of a daily newspaper.

So today, Sam Donnellon, whom I’m just assuming agreed with the likes of Reuben Frank and Mike Missanelli in their perhaps real outrage over Chip Kelly’s avoidance of the media, came out swinging at Kelly, not for his reclusiveness (because Kelly spoke to the media at length twice over the past two weeks!), but because of what he said when he did speak:

SOMEBODY’S LYING.

The question is, does anyone really care?

Does anyone care that Chip Kelly’s version of how Howie Roseman lost his dream job is incongruous to the version Jeffrey Lurie put forth at the NFL owners’ meetings this week? Or that the firing of Tom Gamble, which Lurie deemed “a long time coming,” was something Kelly said he knew nothing of and had nothing to do with.

And if the answer is no, which it seems to be to many, then the next question seems to be this:

Is there a place – or need – for honesty in professional sports these days?

Or is it just “Win, baby, Win?”

I’m pretty certain I know what Chip’s honest answer to that would be. Any reasonable person who has bothered to compare some of his answers on topics such as the ones above, or on the LeSean McCoy trade, with the ones offered by his owner is well aware Kelly has a little Col. Nathan Jessup in him when it comes to our right to the truth.

He has neither the time nor the inclination to explain himself to . . . well, you get the drift.

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

It’d be one thing to call out Lurie and Kelly for the inconsistencies in their stories (that’s an actual story!), but Donnellon used the topic, and his contrived lede, to broach a tired subject that he himself acknowledged probably no one cares about. BREAKING: Sports fans more interested in winning than inside baseball during the smack-dab middle of the offseason. More at 11.

But then, the conditioned response of the ink-stained scriptual kicked in (I typically like Donnellon, so this isn’t meant to trash the guy– just this particular column) and Sammy reflexively took aim at fans – his readers and audience – who care little about whether the coach speaks and usually enjoy his messing with the media:

The producer/director, of course, is our beloved head coach, whose continued bemusement amid the frantic and often futile pursuit of truth has, if nasty comments at the end of our stories carry any weight, solidified an army of tweet-twitching followers. That prankster’s smile of his, that rapid-fire verbiage that ultimately offers about as much sustenance as a rice cake – it’s wonderfully entertaining.

Especially when the media are on the other end of the prank.

We’re the bad guys, the messengers, eating all that free food, being lazy all the time, not following the lessons of Journalism 101, a course that clearly about 1 billion people have taken. And Kelly, whose close circle of friends back in New Hampshire included members of the Fourth Estate, certainly knows this. He also knows that, as long as he can sell it as him against them, the public will allow him all the obfuscating his little heart desires.

As long as he Wins, baby, Wins.

Gross.

Every bit of this, be it from Sam or Reuben or Mike or Les, is self-serving, whether they admit it or not. In truth, the Eagles’ drama has given them more to write about. Imagine how boring it would’ve been if DeSean was released last year because he had a troublesome shoulder injury that made his cap hit too risky? Boring! Or what if Howie Roseman took a job as a financial analyst so he could stop being the office nerd? Snoozefest! And yet, the disingenuousness of writing a column complaining about the so-called soap opera is completely lost on Donnellon.

Of course Jeff and Chip aren’t going to give the whole story. If they did, the headlines would be: Chip Throws Howie Under The Bus. McCoy’s Work Ethic A Little To Shady For Kelly. You know how this works. So does Chip. So does Sam. So, the Eagles do what. every. organization. does. when it parts ways with an executive or high-profile employee: We had a different vision and wish him well. This is why we collectively rolled our eyes when reporters, who, unfortunately for them lack both the physical appearance and charm of early-90s Tom Cruise, demanded that Chip take the stand and answer about the code red or however the fuck you want to crowbar the reference into your story.

And then we have the true disconnect between those who’ve spent a life in sports where press conferences and media scrums trump the actual games and experience of something as irrational and inconsequential as sports fandom. Accountability is good (so is greed, if we want to work in another classic VHS-era movie reference), and while we’d all love to hear Chip spill his guts about interoffice politics at One NovaCare Way, it’s never going to happen. Not on Chips’s watch. So instead, we sit back and enjoy as a man, seemingly grotesque and incomprehensible to those who cover him, who operates so far beyond the walls that the media professes to guard and uses words like “culture” and “philosophically” and pictures of Bart Simpson, toys with those who, deep down in places they don’t write about in hackneyed columns, want drama over which to feign outrage, need drama over which to feign outrage, about the man who has neither the time nor the inclination to explain himself to those whose feigned outrage depends on the drama that he provides and who question the manner in which he provides it! Does Chip Kelly disdain Howie Roseman? YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT HE DOES!

I should probably just call it a week.

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65 Responses

  1. “I should probably just call it a week”

    We all thought you already did.

    And your bastardization of “A Few Good Men”is annoying.

  2. Kinda hard to knock other sports writers when your contributions this week have been pretty much absolutely nothing. You even had two easy stories to write about…

    Article about Chuck Bednarik? Nope

    Article about Kimmo Timonen playing his last game ever in Philadelphia? Nope

    Garbage. Now lets cut to another story by Jim about Sam Hinkie and how people don’t like him!

    1. Did you not get enough of Bednarik and Timonen from the beat writers and TV talking heads? Or is CB your only ‘source’ for sports info. If it is, you’re wasting your time coming here. Although Kyle probably still appreciates your visits.

      1. Clearly you missed the example I was trying to make.

        Making fun of the beat writers and TV talking heads kind of makes no sense when you cannot generate any kind of content outside of the Local Philly brackets (which is awful this year). Everything else is cut and paste articles from other sites.

        The guy writes about non-sense, doesn’t talk about current relevant philly sports related events, and doesn’t generate much original content.

        1. clearly you miss the point that kyle is making a living off this site because people like you keep coming back no matter what he posts.

          and speaking of frauds, cataldi has been on the air for 25 years.

        2. “The guy writes about non-sense, doesn’t talk about current relevant philly sports related events, and doesn’t generate much original content.”

          He says after the second ~1k word piece of the week. But seriously, if it’s not obvious why we don’t do the same thing everyone else does, then you’re probably not the target audience. What value would us writing a simpleton thing about Timonen returning add?

          1. im only busting your balls because im bored at work and you havent given me shit to do all day but 357 of those words were sam donnellon’s

          2. I’d rather have more to post about too. It’s a slow day. I don’t make as much money on slow days. And then people bitch when we reach for posts. No-win.

          3. Media blows. Applies one standard to Lurie/Kelly and another to themselves. Has the WIP brass ever explained recent hirings and firings? No, of course not. Not that anyone cares.

            And can you imagine their howling if Chipper acted toward them like Bloom did with you?

          4. You shouldn’t reach for content at the expense of tearing into a columnist. Sam Donellon’s piece was perfectly fine and you’re saying you don’t make as much money today unless u reach and publish lazy bullshit? What a joke! Your site is low class…plain and simple.

  3. “And while we’d all love to hear Chip spill his guts about interoffice politics at One Novacare way, it’s never going to happen.”

    Didn’t you just bitch about Les Bowen taking this same stance about who offered a pick for Bradford

    why do you make me defend les bowen? its friday

    1. I think there’s a huge difference from asking an obvious follow up question and expecting Chip to rip Howie and LeSean to shreds because we all assume it’s the truth.

      1. i see your point, we just disagree on how big a difference it is. I think Les is a clown FWIW

        i liked the gordon gekko/wall street ref. btw

        1. Fair enough. I’m not saying don’t ask Chip about, just that he’s not going to give the full truth.

  4. “I’ve long had a problem with the practice of sport columnery, where writers must fill space on a typically predetermined, regular basis. Just like the problem with 24-7 news networks, where air needs to be exhaled whether there’s actual news or not, the columnist is forced to opine and feign outrage on often inferior issues undeserving of their platform. It’s a symptom of the concept of a daily newspaper.”

    Switch “columnery” and “daily newspaper” with “moronic egocentric blog called CB”.

    Pull your pants up Kyle, your tiny nutsack of hypocrisy is showing.

    1. You missed the entire point of that paragraph, which happens to be the same reason it’s been a relatively slow week here: filling space just for the sake of filling spaces breeds shit.

      1. While I agree, filling space just for the sake of filling spaces breeds shit, I don’t think that critiquing all forms of sports media is the type of content people are looking for. There has to be other ways to generate new and interesting posts.

        1. Maybe. But sports media is as much a part of the conversation at sports themselves. It shapes opinion and discussion, so critiquing it, in my opinion, is just another way of discussing sports. This post was just as much about Chip as it was Sam.

          1. We didn’t “miss the point”, we got it and it’s pathetic. You think Sam wasted words on Chip-bashing, so you wasted more words on Sam-bashing. You assert that criticizing Sam was time well spent. And I’m saying it’s not only not well spent, it’s transparently selfish and hypocritical. You’re just trying to gain relevance by baiting anyone of any media consequence whatsoever to respond so you can trump up a “controversy” and thus appear as “one of them”.

            We got it, Kyle. But did you?

      2. So…filling space for the sake of filling space breeds Jim’s “articles”? Kyle what’s got your jimmies so rustled that you’re replying to every comment here?

        This site is becoming more and more about you calling out the local media for being shitty in one way or another. Not saying it’s necessarily unwarrented (I usually agree with your points). But this site used to comment on sports, now it comments on comments on sports. But I get it. Not much to write about in February n March. That said, I can’t justify Jim still having a job. Do you read his “articles”? They’re the definition of writing shit just for the sake of taking up space.

  5. And you don’t find yourself implicated in this practice, Kyle? You’re so goddamn dense it’s disgusting. Go back to flogging your shitty t-shirts.

  6. I must have been in a coma for the 14 years Andy Reid was here. Who knew he was so open to the media that now with Chip, the media cant get answers. Why are these writers and radio hosts acting like Chip is the only one who doesnt give answers. Its beyond annoying. The complain so much that the fans start to turn on a coach thats 20-12 in his first two season in the NFL with a backup QB is both years.
    Heres your answers media:
    -Desean–released bc he made too much money and he wasnt the best teammate. Not worth the risk to keep around. Yes shoudve gotten someting for him but thats the NFL.
    Maclin–took more money to go home and play for the coach that drafted him. Not hard to figure out
    McCoy–had a down year and cap hit was 12M. Got a up and coming LB. Signed Murray the leading rusher and Matthews to a combined salary way less than McCoys cap hit
    Gamble- NOONE CARES ABOUT HIM. Before he got fired did anyone really know who he was?
    Foles- HE SUCKED LAST YEAR. Worse stats than Sanchez against easier opponents which is why his record was better.

  7. Do you think he never posted anything about Bednarik because he felt that would be admitting he made a mistake? What a dick. This site is going down faster than a German flight in the French alps.

    1. Because 90% of our audience wasn’t born when he played and only knows of the guy from one photo and because saying “yep, that guy died” would add absolutely nothing. You know he died, obviously. What do you want me to do with it? Post the pic again?

        1. Just being honest. We missed the initial news (early Saturday morning?) and anything even an hour or late is just useless: This guy died. You already know that. Carry on. That’s pretty much the whole line of though. I’m 31, Jim younger. Neither of us could write about him in any remotely that was remotely genuine.

  8. I understand that you’ve gained many readers through your ability to mock other people, but seriously your entire blog has devolved into a combination of reposting and mocking other journalist’s stories/tweets and highlighting arguments/feuds between talk show hosts. Your audience is not 15 year old girls. Grow the fuck up and write something with substance!

    1. “No, I’d rather falsely claim I’m making high five figures for this tripe because nobody can verify it. I want to someday be a mini Donald Trump.”

  9. All of this stuff comes full circle during a time when the Eagles aren’t actually playing but the Flyers, Sixers, and Phillies are all irrelevant and awful. A sports columnist needs to come up with some attention grabbing fodder so they dream up outrage. A sports blogger needs content so they mock said sports columnist.

    I find the latter more interesting and the assholes that populate the comments section more entertaining, so here I am.

    1. They all bitch that the Eagles don’t talk (and that makes all of their jobs harder). Then when they do talk, well, you know what happens. They mock, ridicule and question EVERY SINGLE WORD THEY SAY. They claim they are the pipeline to the fans but they are so full of shit. They want them to talk to give them ammo to fill their 4 hour morning show so they can make fun of them and create more controversy . That is why the Eagles don’t talk much. They’re not stupid. I wonder if Chip will be back on with that blowhard come football season?

  10. These paper-tiger Philly reporters are a joke.. ‘Who said what? Who fired who? Who did this or that?’ Please! This is not Watergate and pip-squeak Jeff Lurie is not President. Its simply a privately owned corporation that many people delusionally think is a public or civic enterprise. And Donnellson is no Woodward or Bernstein.. And to the Philly media i say this: If you want to be taken seriously and if you want to develop some balls, have the guts to write that people should boycott these sports franchises and paying good money to see them live when the fans’ thoughts and feelings mean Nothing.. Yep.. Dare to disrupt the corporate synergy between your place of employment (Philly.com, CSN, WIP or 97.5) and the teams that advertise heavily at such locales, and you will be a columnist worth respecting.. Until then, you are paper-tiger

  11. “We are Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus and we lie all the time (insert Chip’s c0c-k in mouth)…just keep (swallow) coming sheep baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and giving us your money……baaaaaaaaaaaaaa (deep swallow).” Gay Jeffy
    Gold Standard–suck MY dick…..

  12. “McCoy’s Work Ethic A Little To Shady For Kelly.”

    Kyle, please learn the difference between ‘to’ and ‘too’ and the correct usage of each. Sorry, just a pet peeve.

  13. Since Kyle appears to be reading the comments..and fighting back:

    No one comes here for news. Anyone who already spends enough time at their computer to visit this site a couple times a day or more already knows what is going on. We have already been on ESPN.com, Deadspin, watched the news, listened to the radio, whatever. We come here for a different, maybe semi humorous; maybe not; take on RELEVANT sports news.

    And, in all honesty, to read the comments.

    I have ripped you this week; specifically for no Bednarik post; and no Lurie/Kelly speaks post. I understand your point on Bednarik. Saying nothing about the owner and the Grand Poobah of the most popular team in town by far speaking a day apart is malpractice.

    But you are getting your ass reamed this week because you have the nerve to make the following statement (I am paraphrasing):

    Posting just for the sake of posting just breeds shit.

    EXACTLY.

    How many comments have you read slamming you for posting bullshit such as:

    A crying flute player
    Nick Stauskus
    Don Tollefson’s used clothes
    Connor Barwin’s condo
    Mutombo liked getting his dick wet

    And that is just a small sampling.

    You would be better off posting nothing than that crap.

    And your two 1K wordposts:

    Why Nova got embarrassed..again
    Ripping Donnellon…who usually deserves it.

    You may not give a shit about getting ripped since, hey, every rip equals at least one page hit.

    But you are bringing the ass reaming on yourself lately.

    Yeah, I will keep visiting.But let’s pick it up a little.

    1. I disagree on that stuff though. It’s funny, entertaining. Eye of beholder or whatever, but those post did better than the one we DID write about Chip’s press conference. That’s what the site’s always been. Most interesting stuff ever? No, it was a slow week. But this shouldn’t be news to you what we do. Tollie’s thing is ridiculous. Flute player was on the Tonight Show, it’s not like we were the only ones who thought it was a thing. It was genuinely funny.

  14. hire a writer who just does satire pieces. i’ll do it. it can be like jim anchower commentary pieces on the onion but drunken south philly scumbag eagles fan instead of stoner retard. just throwing content ideas out there.

    also go to the onion and search jim anchower hes amazing.

    1. I would if someone writing just satire paid for themselves. And can’t mis straight satire with what we do, a lot of stuff will be hard to tell what’s what– Tollie’s mom enema thing, for example. Would be fun to play real or fake though.

  15. How about doing an AMA with Jim? Do I have to come up with content for you?

    Put up the selfie Innes took and let people in the comment section call him fat
    Take some photo from K@cie’s Intagram account and let everyone make h**** puns
    Do something about BOB so we can compare the hot one (Jillian) to the ugly one (Baicker or Becker or whatever who cares)

    But seriously Sam Donnellon….that’s where it’s at.

  16. Kyles responses to getting his balls broken are priceless. Kyle don’t shine shoes anymore! You got that!!??

  17. These angry journalists biting the hand that feeds them is kind of funny to me. When you ask questions which will require a person to lie, don’t be mad when they do.

    Pattern here? Kelley says nothing, scripts go nuts over it. Kelley talks, they accuse him of lying. If I were Chip Kelley I’d write a weekly blog post to the Eagles fans and not tell any journalist another truth again ever, make them look dumb, and tell them if they don’t like it write about it.

  18. The people who constantly bitch about the content on this website are making the website owner $. Kyle must just sit back and laugh as post after post is made complaining about the staff. If you hate the content leave mom’s basement and apply for a job. Kyle just laughs at you as he makes $ of you.

    1. No, actually making 0.0001 when I visit because I don’t click on the Godfather scams and whatnot. So it’s worth $1 for me to comment 500 times on here about how lame the site is. And it’s not my $1 even then anyway.

      But nice witty “mom’s basement” comment, Mr. 2003.

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