embiid doctors

Yesterday, Joel Embiid sent everyone a quick post-surgery update while still in his hospital bed. A couple of hours later [editor’s note: at 9:34 p.m.], the Sixers sent out some actual details on the procedure, including naming the supergroup (or boy band) of doctors involved in the procedure. Each doctor was selected for what they could brought to the operating table. It was the 2Gether of surgeon teams. There was Dr. Martin O’Malley (the Heartthrob), Dr. Richard Ferkel (the Shy One), Dr. Dufetti Fufa (the Cute One), Dr. Jonathan Glashow (the Bad Boy), and Dr. Christopher Dodson (the Older Brother type). Also, the time to decide how much you trust the Sixers is right now because all of those names sound made up. Dick Ferkel and Dufetti Fufa are future second round draft picks.

Dr. Martin O’Malley, an Aaron Sorkin character, said that they replaced the two screws previously placed in Embiid’s foot and performed a bone graft using a bone from his hip. Dr. David Martin, the Sixers’ new sports science guy, detailed the next steps:

“Moving forward, our sports performance staff will work with Joel to guide his return to play and monitor his progress against targeted benchmarks. Our team will work with Joel to create the best possible environment for healing so he can achieve his goals.

We will now move into the first phase of the recovery process, which will include a focus on general health and fitness, as well as non-weight bearing movement for the injured limb. We will incorporate a broad network of resources into Joel’s return to play program, one that we believe will give him the best opportunity to make a complete recovery.”

Going forward, it would benefit the Sixers to be a lot more open about Embiid than they have been in the past, or we’re gonna have to go right to Dufetti Fufa for our information. [Note: In trying to get contact info for a direct line, it looks like the doctor’s name is actually Duretti Fufa, which is no less fun to say, and she’s a 10.]