Byron Jones Is Trying to Kill His Cowboys Teammates Before the Game with Buffalo Wild Wings

Please. Yes, please, Cowboys cornerback Byron Jones, bring your teammates that poison before the big game. Yes, that’s the secret sauce.

Chip Kelly has the Eagles, probably, eating farm-raised goat loin on a bed of quinoa and fresh herbed cucamongus asparagas with a side smoothie tonight, and the Cowboys are eating the culinary equivalent of lawnmower fuel in their high-end sports car bodies.

Mark this down right now: If the Eagles beat the Cowboys – who will no doubt be shatting themselves on the sidelines tomorrow – this week I will go to Buffalo Wild Wings, order a spread of wings in assorted disgusting delicious sauces, and give them a glowing, praiseful on-site review to the fine readers of Philly’s biggest sports blog. I won’t want to, but I’m a man of my word.

Related: Buffalo Wild Wings Sucks.