Washington Post Football Writer Puts Chip Kelly On THE HOT SEAT

Voila_Capture 2015-09-02_11-52-02_AM
Does my face make me look like a jerk?

Excuse me, I don’t like to laugh through repetitive letters, but HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Here is Washington Post NFL word writer Mark Maske, who put together his hot hot fire list of seven NFL coaches on the hot seat, which obviously includes festively plump Jay Gruden, and:

Chip Kelly, Eagles: It’s all about Kelly this season in Philadelphia. He probably would have it no other way.

Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie made Kelly the winner in the coach’s power struggle with Howie Roseman, who lost the general manager title but remained in the team’s front office.

Kelly put his new power to use with an offseason roster overhaul in which he parted with tailback LeSean McCoy, quarterback Nick Foles and wide receiver Jeremy Maclin while adding quarterback Sam Bradford and running back DeMarco Murray. Kelly has stocked his roster with his former Oregon players and ignored the prevailing league-wide sentiment about Tim Tebow as an NFL passer by bringing in the quarterback to vie for a spot on the team.

Kelly has won so far and this is not to say there is any immediate danger that Lurie would fire him if things don’t go well this season. But Kelly clearly has put his reputation on the line and there will be no one else to share the credit or the blame for the Eagles’ 2015 fortunes.

This is not to say there is any immediate danger… but let me put him on my metaphorical hot seat anyway because PAGE VIEWS.

How absurd. How rude! Chip would probably have to go 1-15 to get fired this year. Jeffrey Lurie has put so many eggs in that basket that WIP operations manager Andy Bloom consulted him over how to grow the size of a basket so he could fit that many in the one belonging to Josh Innes. This is Chip’s team right now as much as it was ever Andy Reid’s team. Sure, Chip has to prove his methods work, but man, a guy goes 10-6 each of his first two seasons in the NFL with MICHAEL VICK, NICK FOLES and MARK SANCHEZ as his quarterbacks and this media hoove is ready to put him on the chopping block. Oh, the Washington media has outdone itself this time.

Side note: I love how Tom Coughlin is on the list. He’s on these lists every year. Dude’s like one of Jim’s cats– he’s got nine lives.

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26 Responses

  1. Paulie from Passyunk: …THEY KEEP SHOOTING OUR COPS MIKE. IT’S THEM. IT’S ALL THEM.
    Mike Miss: Now bro. Easy bro. You have to look within, bro, you have to think deeper.
    PfP: What am I looking into it? Cops keep winding up DEAD, Mike.
    MM: You need next level thinking, bro. It’s more complicated than just black and white.
    PfP: Come on, Mike.
    MM: Come on, bro. You’ve got open your eyes, bro. If you do that and still feel this way, then salud. Be on your way, bro.
    PfP: Fine Mike.
    MM: Alright, bro. So, bro. You want a general knowledge question, bro?
    PfP: I guess.
    MM: OK bro. This comes from the general knowledge category, bro. Bro, who is on the $10 bill?
    PfP: The $10 bill?
    MM: That’s right, bro. Who is on the $10 bill?
    PfP: President … umm …. I know he was President back then. I think that was Jimmy, er. I don’t, Mike.
    MM: Really, bro?
    Martinez: Wow.
    MM: Bro, it’s Alexander Hamilton. And he was never President.
    Martinez: Unbelievable.
    MM: Hamilton was the first Secretary of the Treasury. And a founding father.
    Martinez: Back in 1776!
    MM: You know that one, Martinez?
    Martinez: Of course!
    MM: Cliff from Cherry Hill, you’re on 97.5 The Fanatic. What’s going on Cliff?
    CfCH: Hey Mikey Miss, got a possible violation for you. My roommate is from Bucks County but he’s a Cowboys fan! Is this a violation …

      1. Harry blamed you for waking him up at 5am but in reality Sarah was on periscope putting her nose on. I can’t believe she is doing Rube from quick slants. Apparently it is true, she is polishing his golf shaft and balls.

          1. Ewwwww. Reminds me of Jabba The Hut licking a chained-up Princess Leia in Return Of The Jedi

            1. Yeah…if you had to come up with the grossest Philly media members to picture banging each other, that combo would be near the top.

    1. Good work as usual. You definitely need to do one with Ingy on his cell. Throw in an insult at Martinez.

    2. Found the GKW comment on my first try. Great stuff as always. Now I leave this pathetic blog until next week.

  2. “Jeffrey Lurie has put so many eggs in that basket that WIP operations manager Andy Bloom consulted him over how to grow the size of a basket so he could fit that many in the one belonging to Josh Innes. ”

    This joke would be correctly labeled as a “reach.”

    Simply put, it wasn’t funny. Not even remotely funny.

    Now GFY.

  3. If Kelly is on the hot seat let my lap be that seat. I will screw that 50 year old wrinkly ass into submission like the read option.

  4. I didn’t think I’d ever hate someone with every fiber of me being without actually meeting them. But, I have to say I absolutely feel that way about the guy who runs this blog. What a dickhead.

  5. The General Knowledge Wednesday calls are becoming the best reason to visit this blog.

  6. If Chip doesn’t win a playoff game this year the honeymoon will be over. Which is essentially what the guy said.

    “Kelly has won so far and this is not to say there is any immediate danger that Lurie would fire him if things don’t go well this season. But Kelly clearly has put his reputation on the line and there will be no one else to share the credit or the blame for the Eagles’ 2015 fortunes.”

    That made you laugh in all caps?

    That eggs in one basket joke…I really don’t have much to say about that.

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