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Does my face make me look like a jerk?

Excuse me, I don’t like to laugh through repetitive letters, but HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Here is Washington Post NFL word writer Mark Maske, who put together his hot hot fire list of seven NFL coaches on the hot seat, which obviously includes festively plump Jay Gruden, and:

Chip Kelly, Eagles: It’s all about Kelly this season in Philadelphia. He probably would have it no other way.

Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie made Kelly the winner in the coach’s power struggle with Howie Roseman, who lost the general manager title but remained in the team’s front office.

Kelly put his new power to use with an offseason roster overhaul in which he parted with tailback LeSean McCoy, quarterback Nick Foles and wide receiver Jeremy Maclin while adding quarterback Sam Bradford and running back DeMarco Murray. Kelly has stocked his roster with his former Oregon players and ignored the prevailing league-wide sentiment about Tim Tebow as an NFL passer by bringing in the quarterback to vie for a spot on the team.

Kelly has won so far and this is not to say there is any immediate danger that Lurie would fire him if things don’t go well this season. But Kelly clearly has put his reputation on the line and there will be no one else to share the credit or the blame for the Eagles’ 2015 fortunes.

This is not to say there is any immediate danger… but let me put him on my metaphorical hot seat anyway because PAGE VIEWS.

How absurd. How rude! Chip would probably have to go 1-15 to get fired this year. Jeffrey Lurie has put so many eggs in that basket that WIP operations manager Andy Bloom consulted him over how to grow the size of a basket so he could fit that many in the one belonging to Josh Innes. This is Chip’s team right now as much as it was ever Andy Reid’s team. Sure, Chip has to prove his methods work, but man, a guy goes 10-6 each of his first two seasons in the NFL with MICHAEL VICK, NICK FOLES and MARK SANCHEZ as his quarterbacks and this media hoove is ready to put him on the chopping block. Oh, the Washington media has outdone itself this time.

Side note: I love how Tom Coughlin is on the list. He’s on these lists every year. Dude’s like one of Jim’s cats– he’s got nine lives.