My God, with this rant Olivia Munn may have just passed Megyn Kelly in the most likely to rip your head off after sex and you’ll like it rankings.

Munn is upset with FOX Sports, ESPN and others for comments about her being a possible distraction for Aaron Rodgers, whose team has lost three-striaght.

FOX:

The Green Bay Packers are riding a three-game losing streak, and quarterback Aaron Rodgers hasn’t been so great during the team’s current skid. Nothing during Green Bay’s 6-0 start signaled an impending meltdown, so Packers fans are struggling to come up with answers.

One Journal Sentinel commenter thinks he knows what’s up. According to him, Rodgers’ girlfriend, Hollywood actress Olivia Munn, is to blame for the team’s slump and the All-Pro passer’s pedestrian outings.

ESPN:

Possible off-field issues?: A longtime NFL agent told me recently that when he sees one of his top-performing clients play differently, as Rodgers has of late, the first thing he wonders is if something is going on in his personal life. There’s no indication that Rodgers’ relationship status has changed. Lions reporters said they spotted Rodgers’ girlfriend, actress Olivia Munn, at Lambeau Field on Sunday. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that professional athletes have lives away from the field, and you never know what could be going on in their personal lives.

This is, of course, gobbledygook. And Munn took aim:


https://twitter.com/oliviamunn/status/667254990440763392

https://twitter.com/oliviamunn/status/667255167083917312

?????????

Munn isn’t a distraction for Rodgers– he draws strength from her! Lest we forget her admitting last year, just after the Packers waxed the Eagles, that she likes to have a lot of sex, especially after games. My reaction at the time:

GODDAMN YOU, AARON! That Eagles-Packers game started at 4:25 EST (3:25 local time!), which means Rodgie was home and balls deep at exactly 8:40 p.m. his time while the rest of us flipped over from Homeland to NBC to catch the second half of Sunday Night Football after a day of licking our wounds from watching Rodgers put up 53 points and doing that cocky strut thing he does when he completes a deep pass (which is actually kind of sexy, if I’m being honest). Turns out that thing is a bleeping mating call for his freak girlfriend. No wonder why the Packers are undefeated at home! Can you imagine the incentive structure in this social contract?! This is a girl who once sent a boyfriend annotated photos of herself with captions that would make E. L. James blush (DON’T CLICK IT!). I don’t even want to know what Discount Double Check means inside the Rodgers household. I’m not sure I could handle it. All I know is that this is Rodgers’ world– the rest of us are merely inhabitants.

Munn may be the greatest carrot on a stick in sports history, reachable by Rodgers only in victory or supreme performance. She’s not a distraction! She’s the source of his powers! Easily the best sports significant other right now. It’s not even close. The power rankings:

  1. Munn-Rodgers
  2. Gisele-Brady

.

.

.

.

.

.

406: Andrews-Stoll

via The Big Lead