Lane Johnson Is about to Get PAID

Photo credit: Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

Lane Johnson, the run-blocking, flag-receiving, PED-using, fan-blaming, excuse-making offensive lineman, is about to get paid.

Jeff McLane reports that the Eagles and Johnson are nearing a huge deal. Eliot Shorr-Parks says Johnson will receive more guaranteed money than any other right tackle in the NFL:

Great. But now that Johnson is firmed up, it might be time to talk about Cox.

UPDATE: According to multiple sources, Johnson’s deal is worth a maximum of $63 million with $35 million guaranteed.

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18 Responses

  1. Kyle your site blows now, articles like this and your awful take on pretty much everything Philly sports has run its course.

    Hiring Jim was the beginning of the end.

    1. Oh, you thought you was raw?
      Boom, not anymore,
      Cause now you on the floor, wishing you never saw,
      Me walk through that door with that .44
      Now it’s time for bed, two more to the head,
      Got the floor red, yeah, that nigga’s dead.
      Another unsolved mystery, it’s goin’ down in history!

  2. Anyone see the Periscope Marks did yesterday? Gargano was in there for a bit and he looks exactly like Big Pussy from The Sopranos. Like exactly. Dude was dressed like goomba garbage wearing a track suit from the 90’s.

    MCW aint half bad

    1. For major health reasons, Gargano should definitely lay off the Primos hoagies.

      How does MCW let that fat tub of goo crawl on top of her?

  3. Arf, arf!
    Yeah, yeah, yeah…
    (Grr!)
    Uh, yo’don’t get it twisted,
    This rap shit, is mine,
    Motherfucker, it’s not a fucking game!
    Fuck what you hear.

  4. Has anyone checked out Sean Brace site? Dude be killin it. Him and I are going to start doing some you tube videos together.

  5. Gargano is either divorced or separated because he references his apartment several times which makes me think that he lost the house. Why else would a morning show host live in an apartment? He also talks about driving her everyday. And let’s be honest, there’s no way she earned that job with her reading skills. She sounds worse than the person who did morning announcements in high school.

  6. The best GM in the league is making these deals…..DOn’t worry sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppp I am only raising your ticket prices by 22% AND kicking parking up to $50…why? because I am a gay Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu and I can.

  7. “Huh? Johnson or Cox? I don’t see what the big debate is… Whether it’s Johnson or Cox, at the end of the day, they’re pretty much just pricks.”

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