And then I was STANDIN’ right on THE FLOOR, next to BRETT BROWN!!! AH! And I was like WHY YOU WEARIN’ THOSE SHOES, COACH?!?! THEY’RE GONNA SCUFF THE COURT!!! They told me to wear rubber soles – and I was like oh shit I better listen lest M. Night steal my seat and turn it into a fucked up monster or some shit – so I wear rubber soles, got my soles, they are rubber, and I look next to me, and there’s Brett Brown, who speaks like a lobster fisherman who just got injected with Novocain, and HE AIN’T WEARING RUBBER SOLES! Like, coach, YOU’RE GONNA SCRATCH THE FLOOR!!!

At least, that’s what I imagine Kevin Hart’s internal monologue was as this picture was taken.

I’ll be honest– I was flipping back and forth between the spanking Villanova was giving to Marquette and the Embiid-less Sixers game last night. More Nova than Sixers early on, as it looked like the Sixers were going to stumble back down to Earth… and then they went off in the third quarter, erasing a 19-point deficit, while Villanova prepared to blow a 17-point lead and eventually lose.*

Meanwhile, at the Wells Fargo Center, the Sixers faithful crawled up inside DeAndre Jordan’s head and took a big ol’ dump:

https://twitter.com/GetEmNextYear/status/824212580235444228

The dump was a ghost the whole time on M. Night… night:

https://twitter.com/MrGerencserPAHS/status/824043366635753472

Alas. That was not our sweatshirt. It appears to be a cheap knockoff from Tee Spring Zazzle Pop or whatever and not the fine super-soft, stylish yet comfortable one that we’re selling (once again backordered 1-2 weeks):


Voila_Capture 2017-01-11_03-27-32_PM

You can get one here.

After the game, cats:

https://twitter.com/BenSimmons25/status/824091844783067136

https://twitter.com/Kevbot926/status/824104553708716032

Even our favorite White House correspondent got in on the action:

https://twitter.com/justinsink/status/824085514110308352

Few things:

  1. I’m thoroughly shocked at the number of people who own cats. They are bad animals.
  2. I love the movement. It’s so goofy and sitcom-y– it’s perfect for our time.
  3. Yes, we’re making a t-shirt.
  4. May I suggest the alternative fact hashtag #pussyonapedestal?
  5. Those of us who don’t have cats are allowed to improvise. It’s in the rules.

*They’re fine. Kansas lost, too. Gonzaga, who has played the most laughable schedule imaginable, is undefeated and will likely hop up to number one while Nova and Kansas should drop to 2 and 3, respectively. They’ll be back to number one within a week.