I was going to take a deep breath, reset and wait until this morning to take stock of my emotions after yesterday afternoon’s big win/devastating loss against the Rams. I was. But fuck it. I decided to crack open a ninth Yuengling and have my depression for dinner so I could bang out this piece last night with the aid of raw despair. I don’t need food–my sadness sustains me. Plus, I watched The Social Network last week and learned some important things. At the beginning of the movie, Mark Zuckerberg gets dumped by his girlfriend, goes home, gets hammered and creates a website that compares farm animals to his fellow Harvard classmates, which indirectly causes him to create Facebook. The main takeaways, for me, are that he’s kind of an asshole, but more importantly, this is how genius happens. I’m completely unhinged. I’m definitely an asshole. So let’s see what happens.
The money question in the wake of Wentz’s likely season-ending injury is—-now what? How should we feel right now? Before I answer that, let me just go on record by stating that I will gladly twist a screw driver into my left knee, dig out my ACL, and offer it to the football gods if it means Wentz somehow plays again this season. Bottom line: I volunteer as tribute.
Beyond that, only in Philadelphia can a team win an absolute thriller on the road against one of the conference’s elite teams to clinch the NFC East and regain the inside track for home field advantage with the net result being widespread devastation. It’s a Philadelphia sports tale as old as time. I’m 32-years-old. I should’ve seen this coming, but I didn’t. I really, truly thought this year was different. I thought this transcendent quarterback from Nowhere, North Dakota in year two was going to lead this team to a Super Bowl victory. Instead, it’s curtains on that fairy tale. Now that we know the story isn’t going to end that way, how will the conclusion be written? I know when I’m looking for guidance and wisdom I like to turn to our readers for help. Let’s see.
@CrossingBroad do you call Romo if Wentz is done for the year?
— JimmyMac (@jimmymac5127) December 11, 2017
Great suggestion here. Absolutely. The Eagles should 1000% call Tony Romo. I don’t care that Romo has played one half of football since Thanksgiving 2015. Do I think he would be a better option than Foles? Absolutely not, but I’m completely convinced at this point that such a fucked up move is the only thing that could possibly alter the sadistic karmic forces working against this city. It’s such a ridiculous idea, and so cringeworthy, that maybe, just maybe, this is how it has to be. Just think about Romo hoisting a Lombardi Trophy with the Eagles as the entire Cowboys fan base watches a cruel nightmare unfold before their eyes. That’s a neat little potential ancillary benefit.
Before we go on:
Sorry. That’s not even an ad for the site. I just don’t know how to function without seeing it every four minutes.
If the Romo thing doesn’t happen (it won’t), maybe Nick Foles can do actually do it. Anybody who knows me knows that I ooze self-loathing and negativity, but since I’ve started at Crossing Broad, I have become the positive guy. That’s tough right now because I kind of want to die, but I’ll give it a go.
I wanted it to be easy, but I know, you know, we all know that if the Eagles are to ever win the Super Bowl, they aren’t going to do it as a wire to wire machine that steamrolls the competition on the way to a championship. That’s just not how it goes here. You know it will have to involve a crippling loss, fear, misery, Paxil and gratuitous amounts of alcohol. The Eagles are meant to do it as an underdog because, you know, #Rocky.
Things may seem bleak at the moment, but a postseason run is far from an impossibility. Nick Foles secures two of the final three games and closes out a first round bye. You’re telling me with three starts under his belt and home-field advantage that he can’t make shit weird in the playoffs? I can’t believe I’m writing this, but why not? I…kind of think they can still get to the Super Bowl. (Monday morning update: I have completely talked myself into it.) Rough game yesterday, but I still believe in a defense that’s more often than not eliminated opponents’ run games and consistently gets to the quarterback. And let’s face it, lesser quarterbacks have won in the playoffs. As long as Foles manages the game and Doug Pederson
uses his stable of running backs, gives the ball to Jay Ajayi, the Eagles should be a tough postseason out. They showed their resiliency in an incredibly difficult spot yesterday, which would’ve been the lead story had Wentz not gone down.
Does this make me an asshole who’s setting himself up for more heartache a month from now? Absolutely, but this is what I’m meant for. I’ll keep getting kicked square in the dick while foolishly hoping this time is different. We’re about to find out. Until then, my sadness sustains me.