Jason Witten Simultaneously Improves Monday Night Football, Weakens Cowboys
I actually had to do a double-take to make sure this was legit, but if you happen to be a fan of competent football analysts who also have a command of the English language, boy, do I have good news for you:
Jason Witten has decided to end his retirement and return to the #DallasCowboys for what will be his 16th season.
— Dallas Cowboys (@dallascowboys) February 28, 2019
A true win-win here. Witten leaves the booth to rejoin the Cowboys, and I have to say, I’m very excited to watch him trudge six yards up the field, catch the ball, and fall down short of the sticks.
Here’s Witten on his decision to return for a 16th NFL season, after the jump:
The fire inside of me to compete and play this game is just burning too strong. This team has a great group of rising young stars, and I want to help them make a run at a championship. This was completely my decision, and I am very comfortable with it. I’m looking forward to getting back in the dirt.
I particularly liked this line: “This team has a great group of rising young stars, and I want to help them make a run at a championship.”
That statement may, somehow, be dumber than this:
We will miss you in the booth, Jason Witten… Thank you for showing us how to pull a rabbit out of your head. pic.twitter.com/Dqd9VrlzcT
— Jake Asman (@JakeAsman) February 28, 2019