We don’t do a lot of college football on this site because 1) I went to a basketball school and 2) Philly isn’t a college football town. But I know enough Penn State people read this site to give a shit, so I come with a plea to the Buckeyes.

I need Ohio State to beat the bricks off of Penn State this weekend more than I need the Birds to win. Yea I said it. It’s the most important game of the weekend for me, and that’s including Game 5 of the NLCS because the Phillies will be up 3-1 at that point and will close it out.

I can’t live in a world where Penn State actually has a shot at the national title. Listen, I’m man enough to concede this team is very good (even though they have had a cupcake schedule to start). I even kind of like them. The defense is historic. Nick Singleton is going to add to the list of solid running backs from State College in the NFL. I even like Drew Allar, which makes me want to puke. The only thing that continues to fuel my hatred for Penn State is their fans and James Franklin continuing to remain a door knob. This clip of him trying to humiliate a reporter for his question about chucking it deep went viral a couple weeks ago:

It wasn’t the best question, but the reporter was getting death threats because the Nittany Lions’ fanbase is a bunch of unhinged maniacs slurping whatever kool-aid their cult leader gives them.

Exhibit A:

Since then, Franklin has continued to mock the reporter’s question in practice while cameras are around:

The question wasn’t off base. Allar is dinking and dunking all over the place, averaging 10.6 YPC  – good for 96th in the country. He’ll probably need the deep ball against an average OSU secondary this weekend.

James Franklin, though, is a dickhead. He’s treated like a God in Happy Valley and making $10 mil a year even though he hasn’t sniffed the college football playoff. He’s the second-highest paid coach in the Big 10, in front of Jim Harbaugh and Luke Fickell. Two guys that have playoff games under their belt. He’s puffing that chest out at 6-0. But we’ve all seen how he unravels once they lose a game:

Penn State loss wouldn’t just help me. It would help the unsung heroes around the city who’ve had to suffer this fall every time Penn State beats up on another cupcake opponent. I’m talking about the bartenders:

@kylepagancb

Penn State is good this year. Which means lots of Penn State fans in bars this season. Take care of your bartenders because they won’t. #joepaknew

♬ original sound – The Wooderboys

Don’t do it for me Ryan Day. Do it for the poor regulars that keep the lights on the other nine months out of the year who are cast aside when Penn State fans come out of the woodwork when their team is actually good. I was bartending in 2020 and 2021. Where were all the navy and white jerseys when they won 11 games in two years? Kyle McCord can repay me for not committing to Temple on Saturday.

OH! IO!