You want to know how ready Eagles fans are for Monday Night Football? They brought a flamethrower to the tailgate at 5:30 a.m. The Falcons better not even get off the bus:

Every year Kirk Cousins comes into the Linc on prime time and every year he leaves a loser. And that was before we introduced flamethrowers to the mix. No A.J. Brown? Who cares, the Eagles have freaking flamethrowers now. That, Jason Kelce returning, Nick Foles’ retirement, and the home opener has to be worth at least a touchdown. The Eagles have never lost when the fans are bringing flamethrowers to a game.

Look at these guys ready to go at 5:30 a.m:

Sidenote: I can’t even cook hot dogs for charity in a parking lot, but people can bring flamethrowers into the tailgate? Tell me how that makes sense. I guess if the Eagles are allowed to give flamethrowers at the Eagles White Elephant party then fans should be able to use flamethrowers to roast a pig:

What a fucking fanbase. I love you mongrels.


I’m so happy to be back with the tailgate friends:

God forbid the Eagles lose and we need to keep get eyes on flamethrower guy. Xfinity Live! will be ash by the time he gets out of the lots. The Sixers will be looking for a new stadium along with the Flyers. I’d expect it to look like the riot scene in Project X: