What is this, high school football? The Packers will have to commute two hours to the game because of heavy traffic and the Eagles getting first dibs on hotel rooms:

Woof. Could there be a police escort? Sure. We’re still talking about Brazilian streets here. We’re not talking about Michael Rubin landing his helicopter before a Sixers game and parting bumper to bumper traffic on 95 like he’s Moses. Sao Paulo is Brazil’s biggest city and one of the most congested in the world. Especially on Fridays.

11 years ago, CNN reported that Brazilians in Sao Paulo spend a month a year waiting in traffic:

This would be like driving to Madison Square Garden from Long Island during rush hour. “Or Malvern to the new Sixers arena!” I’m sure someone’s internal monologue just said.

I don’t care how luxurious your luxury bus is. Two hours on a bus is two hours on a bus. It throws guys off of their pregame routines. Instead of an easy 15 minute ride from the hotel in America, the Packers will need to pass the time like you do on the way down the shore during a holiday weekend. I don’t just love the Eagles because they’re going to have the best offense in the NFL this year. I love the Eagles because they don’t have to commute. Eagles -2.5 is a lock at PA sports betting apps and you can thank Roger Goodell and the NFL for that one. Call it a little taste of revenge after the holding call in Super Bowl 57.


And if you think I’m an idiot for thinking a commute can affect a spread then how about this –

The field has been meticulously pored over for months by the Eagles head groundskeeper, according to Rob Demovsky and Tim McManus at ESPN.com. Surely this is me overreacting right? There’s no shot a head groundskeeper could affect the outcome of a NFL football game. Rest in Piss, SodFather.

Look how loose the Eagles are knowing they only have a 15-minute bus ride:

Jordan Love on the other hand can probably already feel his joints tightening up in seat 5B.