Two years in and I’m already sick and tired of losing Big 5 Championships. I went into John Glaser Arena yesterday ready to whoop up on the little brother of Broad Street in their house. They hadn’t beaten Temple in seven years. They gave us their best shot last year in a triple-OT thriller and this Owls team was much better. Jhamir Brickus was on the Main Line now. Well I was wrong. We lost OUTRIGHT! (Mikey Miss voice):

Getting trolled by another team’s Twitter account will never not make my blood boil. That’s why I never want it to happen again. The Temple Athletic department is slowly figuring out you need NIL money to win in college. So while they drag their feet I’ll just get shit done.

That’s why I’m challenging Temple alum and new Philadelphia Phillies investor, Mitchell L. Morgan, to a three-point shooting contest. All-Star Weekend rules. Loser donates 1% of their net worth to the TUFF Fund. Who says no?

If Mitch was in Glaser yesterday getting chirped from all angles like I was by La Salle fans than he’d accept this challenge immediately with grace and dignity. My entire subway ride home was ruined knowing little brother got to smile for the first time in seven years. If he saw the way Temple got bullied yesterday on the boards and the atrocious 1/16 shooting display they put on from three he’d write a blank check to the TUFF Fund TODAY. We should be playing in the Big 5 Championship every single season. It’s been two years and the cupboard is bare. I want a banner in the rafters. Your move, Mitch.*

Now I will admit Temple losing is good for the Big 5. It’s crazy as I type it, but it’s true. The more parity in the Big 5 the more every fanbase will be interested. It’s awesome seeing Villanova not even sniff the championship game in either year.


Last night there was an aroma of intensity in the air right from the tip…or that might’ve been the swamp ass since La Salle turned the arena into a 3,000 person sardine can. No one was safe from the spittle of shit talking between Owl and Explorer fans. My section kept telling former Temple player, Jahlil White, to shoot every time he got the ball. Some bald headed La Salle fan didn’t like us barking “at a 19 year old” (he’s 22). It was on from there. I was fighting a three front war in the stands. Luckily I had some cherry and white reinforcements with me to dish it back. All in good fun for the most part until baldy started chirping again at us after 25 minutes of silence in his seat. It’s one thing to give it back and forth the entire game like most La Salle and Temple fans were. It’s coward shit to sit in your seat for an entire half like a good boy and then turn around when the game is in hand. I thought at one point it was going to spill over into fists between baldy and one Temple fan until cooler heads prevailed. Don’t you dare tell me the Big 5 is dead.

Quick pause for an Explorer Ale review:

It was delivered to me lukewarm. Did they run out of money for a cooling system in Glaser? I had to switch to a cold refreshing great tasting, less filling Miller Lite in the second half in an effort to turn around the shooting tide for Temple. Unfortunately, they kept shooting like I would after a couple beers.

On other note, the rollouts continue to remain embarrassing. The percentage of good ones over the last decade are less than Temple’s performance from three yesterday. This is the only one I remember seeing from the La Salle student section:

Everyone knows Temple is a basketball school. Am I missing the joke? Are La Salle kids calling us a football school part of the punchline? Rollouts shouldn’t have to make you think that hard. Could’ve just put “Basketball School” and it already becomes 10x funnier because it’s true. The Temple fencing team rips. Make me the rollout czar. Make Rollouts Great Again. I’ll take pay in beers and hot dogs.

Credit to La Salle yesterday. They did everything right except continue the smoke machine tradition. Now the Explorers get St. Joes in the Big 5 Classic championship and the Owls will play in the third place game against Villanova. It’s a very small consolation prize for your boy. Now that the Big 5 format has changed, any chance you get an opportunity to beat Villanova you take it. I hope we send Kyle Neptune out with his last Big 5 loss ever. Though if the big men for Temple don’t come to play than Eric Dixon might drop 70 in the Wells Fargo Center.

*Maybe I can even negotiate if I win we get to rename the dorm building on campus with his name on it for a month. Now I don’t want to be greedy but Pagan Hall has a nice ring too it.