Not to be a sore winner after the Eagles thumped the Steelers 27-13, but the Yinzers got a little uppity in response to a Sunday night troll job:

Maybe people haven’t been to both Kensington and Squirrel Hill and therefore didn’t get the joke. They started responding with all of this stuff about how many Super Bowl rings and Stanley Cups they have. Typical Yinzers.

But here’s the thing, and I’m 100% serious about this –

Pittsburgh’s glory days are over and their teams are quickly becoming irrelevant on a national scale. Don’t believe me? Well, for starters, Pittsburgh has a grand total of one playoff win since 2018. Did the Penguins win the Cup in 2017? Sure, but no one cares about the Penguins. Their run is over and their trophies are collecting dust. Let’s take a look at some FACTS:

Pittsburgh Steelers

A good team, just beat by a better team in Philadelphia on Sunday night. The Steelers are 10-4 and will make the postseason, but they haven’t won a playoff game since Big Ben was handing the ball to Le’Veon Bell and throwing it to pre-MAGA Antonio Brown. In the time since, they’ve gone 0-4 in the postseason while the Eagles are 6-5 with two Super Bowl appearances and one Lombardi Trophy.


Clearly, the Philadelphia Eagles have been the better NFL franchise for almost a decade now. The last time the Steelers won it all, the iPhone was new.

Pittsburgh Penguins

Currently trailing the rebuilding Philadelphia Flyers in the Metropolitan. They’ve missed the playoffs in the last two seasons, following a four-year span of first-round exits. Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, and Kris Letang are a combined 100 years old, and the NHL isn’t there this time to rig the draft and hand them a generational superstar. What the Penguins really need to do is blow it up and start over, but they are either too stubborn or ignorant. Their punishment will be years of deserved mediocrity.

Pittsburgh Pirates

Remember when the Buccos were really good? Yeah, me neither, because we weren’t yet alive. It was 1979, when Iranian women were still allowed to wear skirts. Since then, the Pirates have one playoff series win, and that was a one-game wild card triumph over the Cincinnati Reds in 2013. They’ve had 28 losing seasons since 1993 and are so bad that Pennsylvania lawmakers say they are hurting the economy.

Pitt Panthers

Hardly relevant in football. Started 7-0 this year, Eli Holstein got hurt, and they went on a five-game losing streak to end the year. Now they’re preparing for Toledo in the who-gives-a-shit bowl. They’ll never go anywhere with Pat Narduzzi at the helm. They’ve had two 10-win seasons since 1981 and most of their success came during the leather helmet era. If they want to be taken seriously, they’ll fire Narduzzi immediately and hire a real coach.

As for basketball, they’ve been to March Madness once in the post-Jamie Dixon era. I’m old enough to remember when they had good players like Sam Young and Ashton Gibbs, back when Carl Krauser was trying to poke Allan Ray’s eyeballs out. Now they’re a bang-average ACC team and an afterthought on a national scale.

Pittsburgh Riverhounds

A fun little team with a cool stadium. Coached by the great Bob Lilley. They play in the second division though, so they would get boat raced by the Philadelphia Union at least two or three to nil. Doop Doop, motherfuckers.

Pittsburgh NBA team

They don’t have an NBA team. Some are saying that having no team might be better than supporting the Sixers. We’ll check with the Crossing Broad politburo and come back with a ruling on that.

Conclusion

There’s no doubt that Pittsburgh has more trophies than Philadelphia, but that amounts to living in the past. Sad! Clearly, Philly has been the better sports town since 2018 and Pitt fans need to accept that they are now little brother.

Have a great day.