There were a lot of stupid things said about the Eagles this season. Fire Nick Sirianni after a 2-2 start. Jalen Hurts can’t read a defense. The passing game stinks. So on and so forth, but nothing was worse than Humpty Dumpty doppelganger Shaun Morash committing to a Saquon Barkley bit that even WIP would find embarrassing:

The bit starts with a DeMarco Murray comparison and the goalposts continue to move in classic talk radio fashion. “Yeah he’s been good, but they need to win a Super Bowl!” Eventually Morash can’t move the goalposts any further, paints himself into a midnight green corner, and the bit ends with Saquon Barkley winning a ring after breaking Terrell Davis’s single-season rushing record. We went from Saquon is a “losing player” to lifting the Lombardi Trophy. Incredible. You can’t script it any better. The L is so large and weighs so much that when Morash tries to hold it, he’s squashed like a bug. He should have to push the L up the hill over and over again like the guy in Greek mythology, only to get close to the top and the L rolls back down the hill and runs him over.

Sometimes you have to admit defeat, end the hot take shtickfuckery, and go crawl into the same hole that Nick Wright and other bozos are currently occupying. The worst part, as Pagan always points out, is that these guys will turn around and say that it’s all in good fun and they’re just doing radio, just pushing buttons and trolling opposing fans, which is fine, but you can do all of that without having the worst prediction in the history of the world. Saquon didn’t just have a good season, he had a record-breaking, historic season, one of the best running back seasons in the history of football. You cannot be more wrong about something. Morash’s Saquon bit makes ESP’s Noah Vonleh tweet look like the hot take minor leagues. Morash is the LA Dodgers and Eliot is the Clearwater Threshers.

This was possibly the worst shtick of all time and eternity. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. Even the members of the Dirty 30 are rolling their eyes. (There is a 100% chance this bozo quotes the story and says something like, “I live rent free in your heads.” Bank on it because you know it’s coming.)