Skip to content

Ad Disclosure

Eagles

Carson Wentz Designed the Worst Custom Jordans of All Time

Kyle Pagan

By Kyle Pagan

Published:

How un-seasoned do you think that Christmas Ham was? The entire Wentz family probably sitting around the dinner table chomping like the Griswolds in their customized Jordans with the scripture leather:

These would be the first Jordans that don’t sell on the SNKRS app.

You know Carson spent the entire car ride to the stadium praying someone in the locker room would notice his Isaiah 9:6s. He saw how much Taylor Heinicke bonded with the guys over Jordans so he had to get himself a pair. This is like your priest buying Jordans just to have something to talk to the Sunday school kids about:

What is that lace job? That’s how I used to lace up some Osiris’s while busting my ass trying to ollie on my skateboard.

It’s gotta be exhausting making God your entire personality. Especially when he hasn’t really returned the favor. This dude is about to be on his fourth team in four years and it’s all a part of God’s plan. Maybe God just doesn’t like you. Maybe you cost God a fantasy football championship in 2017 and he’s still holding a grudge.

I would take this Chinese knockoff before those:

 

Kyle Pagan
Kyle Pagan

Kyle writes blog posts and does Man on the Street-style videos all around Philadelphia. He graduated from Temple University (a basketball school) in 2015. contact: k.pagan@sportradar.com

Advertise With Us