Ad Disclosure
Give this Guy Every Award for Asking the Alleged Delco Pooper the Question on Everyone’s Mind
By Kyle Pagan
Published:
Big story out of Delco this week, where a woman defecated on a car in a road rage incident. Here’s the alleged pooper’s perp walk and Delco’s Tom Brokaw asking the questions we all want to know:
I actually do need to know what she ate that day. Was it soup? Beans? Pica’s? Delco Steaks? Was it last night’s chicken pot pie that wasn’t sitting right with her? Can we get the ghost of Barbara Walters into that prison and interview this lady? This is the question on everyone’s mind. Give that guy who asked it the Peabody or whatever award they give those reporters working in war-torn countries. The Delco Pooper’s butthole definitely falls under the category of weapon of mass destruction.
And you know the crazy part? The more I’m diving into this story the more I’m starting to side with the Delco Pooper. Especially after seeing that lady at the end there talking about listening to DP’s side of the story. Maybe it’s the Delco accents putting me in a trance, but read from the court documents pulled by Victor Fiorillo at Philly Mag and try to tell me you don’t see why she did it:
Solometo told me she was on Lincoln Avenue NB in the left lane waiting to turn on to 4th Avenue WB. Solometo said she was the 5th car in line and when the left turn arrow lit up green, 3 cars went through and the 4th car, a silver sedan sat there and didn’t move.
Solometo said she sounded her horn and the driver of the silver sedan began mocking her through the rearview mirror. Solometo said she was trying to get home from work and got frustrated that the driver of the silver car wasn’t paying attention to traffic. Solometo added that on top of all the frustration, she was having stomach issues and decided to go around the silver car and turned on to 4th Avenue.
Solometo said she stopped at 2 STOP signs and as she approached the 3rd STOP sign (Madison Avenue), she noticed the silver car was behind her and thought they may be following her. Solometo stopped her car, exited and walked back to the silver car and exchanged words back and forth with the driver.
Solometo said as she was walking back to her car, the driver of the silver car called her a “fat bitch” which made her angry. Solometo said “I wanted to punch her in the face, but I pooped on her car instead and went home”.
On May 01, 2025 I contacted Solometo by phone and asked to talk to her in person to fill in some finer details. Solometo said she didn’t want to come in, but said that we could stop at her apartment to talk to her. Chief Madonna and I went to Solometo’s apartment where after confirming all of the details relayed over the phone added “It was a clean poop, I didn’t even have to wipe”.
She’s got bubble guts and people aren’t paying attention to traffic lights! That would even drive people who have control of their bowels to psychotic behavior! The woman was following her and then called her a fat bitch! Sticks and stones may break your bones, but taking a massive dump on someone’s hood will never hurt me! That’s how that saying goes right?
I love this woman! Free the (alleged) Delco Pooper:
Kyle writes blog posts and does Man on the Street-style videos all around Philadelphia. He graduated from Temple University (a basketball school) in 2015. contact: k.pagan@sportradar.com