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Your Monday Morning Roundup

By Kyle Scott

Published: Apr 7th, 2014 · 9:35 AM EDT

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The Phillies look like a real, actual baseball team thus far. Save for yesterday – a blowout loss to the Cubs – they have been in every game and could, or even should, be 5-1. They won Opening Day, dropped two winnable games to the Rangers thanks to the bullpen, and then took two of three from the Cubs. In all three losses it’s been pitching, not hitting, that has done them in. Good signs abound. I’m cautiously optimistic… which means they’ll lose four of their next six and finish April two games under .500.

Let’s hit it!

 

But first, a word from our sponsors:

Shirts on fire. I have it on good authority that both Coots and G are big fans. Get one.

Brad. Meet Brad Lidge at the Sports Vault in the King of Prussia Mall on Saturday, June 7 from 3 – 4 p.m. Details and tickets here.

More. Already have all of our t-shirts? Then might I recommend checking out Philly Phaithful.

Twitter app. Check out Cibos App for sports score in your Twitter timeline. 4.5 stars on iTunes.

Free ride. Uber is sponsoring us this month and offering CB readers a FREE ride up to $20. All you have to do is signup and provide some basic information. Great service. Great offer. Great way to support the site.

Tickets. Lots of reallllllly cheap Phillies tickets available on Crossing Broad Tickets.

 

The roundup:

Zac Rinaldo is looking at a suspension for this hit:

NCAA Frozen Four preparations being at The Well. I remain terrified by giant scoreboards:

Also: that thing has five – six, if you count the very bottom – rings on it, four of which are solely for advertising. Eventually jumbotrons are just going to be giant tubes that extend from the ceiling to center ice and players will be forced to skate around this center ice video board brought to you by a business-to-business company you’ve never heard of that has millions in investor money to spend foolishly on such things. Or Comcast. My mythical obtrusive video board will probably be brought to you by Comcast.

Sweater spotting:

Barely noticed the Ilka jersey what with the circa mid-oughts Johnny on the Spot orange alternate. That might be the worst jersey in Philly sports history. At least the 90’s Sixers’ getups were tongue-in-cheek putrid (read: glorious).

D.C. reporter says he’ll quit if Redskins sign DeSean Jaccson. Doesn’t quit.

If this were Philly, it would become a 40-year meme:

From the Chicago Tribune:

A man who dresses up in a brown bear costume and roams Wrigleyville on game days says a bar scuffle caught on video this weekend shows just the tail end of things.

The clip posted on YouTube Saturday shows a bar patron yank the head off the bear costume and the unmasked man retaliate with a punch.

Patrick Weier, who was inside the unsanctioned outfit, told the Tribune Sunday that he threw his suddenly viral punch after drunk bar patrons at the John Barleycorn bar at 3524 N. Clark St. provoked him and caused him to reach his breaking point. The goading doesn’t show up on the video.

Swear we’ve seen this before:

This exchange was fun:

But for real, Jason, love the look:

CBS acted surprised when viewers were completely confused by local team gamecasts during the Final Four.

Ladies and gentlemen, Joe Blanton, who is pitching for the Sacramento River Cats

Reader Mike’s friend describes Fat Joe as not being so fat anymore: “Lost weight. Hasn’t touched 90, already one run down.” Joe went five innings and gave up nine hits, two walks and five earned runs. He got the win.

Ilya Bryzgalov is 5-0 with a 1.87 GAA and a .920 save percentage with the Wild. His mask features what looks to be homoerotic DuckTales:

Comcast’s world takeover. And another. [You thought I was joking about them ruling the world?]

The WWE Network already has 600k subscribers.

A child asked Jesus why he made the Mets so bad.

The NYPD and FDNY brawled during a charity hockey game.

Les Bowen with one of the hackiest ledes of all-time. Writing about the DeSean interview:

GOSH, HE sure didn’t look like a gang member, with the vest and the tie and the glasses and all…

It wouldn’t be bad if I thought there was the least bit of sarcasm in that. I don’t think there is.

Reuben Frank tries, foolishly, to find an on-field reason for DeSean’s release.

Kentucky fan with her pants off.

Guy washes his hands in piss.

Sean Couturier trimmed up his beard… prepping it for a playoff run, no doubt.

Keith Olbermann on David Letterman’s retirement.

Miley Cyrus topless. Really.

 

Podcasts

On Crossing Streams, Kevin, Dave and I discuss the DeSean Jaccson situation. New one coming early this week. Listen or download. Subscribe with iTunes. Listen with Stitcher. All are mobile-friendly links.

Dan and I discuss on Cord Snipped the new Amazon TV and watching Phillies games online.  Listen or download. Subscribe with iTunes. Or listen with Stitcher. All are mobile-friendly links.