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Rams Linebacker Missed Eagles Game Apparently Because of Food Poisoning From a Philly Cheesesteak
By Kyle Pagan
Published:
Rams linebacker Nick Hampton apparently had a bad Philly cheesesteak that made him miss Sunday’s game:
Go Birds, dickhead!
That’s tactical warfare from whichever cheesesteak spot he went to. Here you are trying to just enjoy the culture of Philadelphia. Trying to infuse the economy a little. You think you’re just going down the street and getting yourself a cheesesteak then going back to the hotel and firing up some Netflix before bedtime. Nope. You’ve got a date in the hospital unit. Your guts are going to be Tush Pushing all around your large intestine for the rest of the night. I hope you like linoleum floors and fluorescent lighting because that’s your stadium for the rest of the weekend. Also, I know he’s pissed off that he got a cheesesteak that’s tearing his insides apart, but you’re crazy if you think even the worst Philly cheesesteak doesn’t taste better than dirt. With that disrespect I’m glad his night is playing out like this scene in Bridesmaids:
Hampton is the backup linebacker to Jared Verse. He has only one tackle this season and 16 snaps, so it’s not like this was a prominent loss for the Rams. I wonder if he was on the field goal unit? Also, why’s he gotta blame cheesesteaks? Maybe he’s just lactose intolerant or maybe the staff at the cheesesteak spot saw some Rams gear and took the cheese whiz from DEEP in the freezer out to add a little extra flavoring.
Athletes in Philadelphia have quite a history with food poisoning. Remember, Zach Pascal had a bad chicken quesadilla and lost like 15 pounds over a four day stint in the hospital. Then you had Aaron Nola and Bryce Harper miss some time in February for food-related illness, but that just might be the raw milk. The Mets poisoned Ryne Sandberg back in the day with a Shake Shack Burger. Then Eagles and Dolphins cancelled a joint practice a couple years back because some players got sick.
Kyle writes blog posts and does Man on the Street-style videos all around Philadelphia. He graduated from Temple University (a basketball school) in 2015. contact: k.pagan@sportradar.com