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The Last 24 Hours of Penn State’s Coaching Search is Why College Football is the Best Reality Show of All Time
By Kyle Pagan
Published:
I’ll be brave enough to say it, the Penn State coaching search has been more fascinating than Lane Kiffin’s departure to LSU. It’s taken some wild turns in the last 24 hours and has become a Mad Libs of sorts with cookie CEOs, Apostles, Mormons, flight apps, and more surrounding BYU coach Kalani Sitake.
I don’t want to toot my own horn, but a little birdie told me that Sitake was the guy about 72 hours ago so I placed a trade on Kalshi. The good news is you can probably get in at an even better value than I did if you think Sitake is the guy while using code MOTS for a $10 bonus for new customers:
After this weekend I was sitting pretty as Kalen DeBoer won the Iron Bowl, Bob Chesney got the UCLA job, and more coaching dominoes started to fall. All that was left was Sitake getting past the Big 12 Championship game and finding his way to Happy Valley… or so I thought. Sitake and Penn State rumors started to heat up Monday afternoon while fans were tracking a private jet flight from Provo to State College. Penn State fans thought they had their next head coach for a couple hours before the Mormons and the Crumbl Cookie CEO and big time BYU donor decided to put on a full court press:
So what did he agree to add to Sitake’s contract extension? Offer him Crumbl Cookies for life if he stayed? No, he did something you can’t put a price on. He crafted a tweet for BYU fans to tell the coach how much he means to the program:
I’d say this was the worst contract negotiation tactic of all-time, but for some reason I feel like this would work at only BYU. From my research and everything I’ve read and watched about the students who go there and people that surround Provo, it’s a weird place.
But it didn’t stop there. There were rumors galore of private jets, meeting with the widows of old ball coaches, and even one of the 12 Apostles. Matthew, Mark, Luke or John you ask? Nope. Try the Apostles of the Latter Day Saints, which apparently is a thing. I don’t even care about the validity of these rumors. If they’re even 10% true college football is the greatest reality show of all-time:
BAH GAWD THAT’S THE APOSTLES MUSIC!
BAH GAWD THAT’S NUTRICOST’S MUSIC!
THIS LEAGUE!
I don’t think anyone has any idea what is really going to happen. The Crumbl Cookie dust hasn’t even settled yet. All I know is this coaching search has been a debacle for Penn State. They fired James Franklin 50 days ago and are the last blue blood program to find a coach. The fact that Pat Kraft wanted to make a big splash and missed out on Matt Rhule, Curt Cignetti, Marcus Freeman, Eli Drinkwitz, and Clark Lea, while Franklin got recruits to flip to Virginia Tech is amazing. Even Josh Heupel is dunking on the job:
Christmas came early for every Penn State hater.
Imagine if Jeff Brohm ends up being the guy after all of this. Terrible hire all things considered, but all-time dude:
Kyle writes blog posts and does Man on the Street-style videos all around Philadelphia. He graduated from Temple University (a basketball school) in 2015. contact: k.pagan@sportradar.com