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The Difference Between the Sixers and Celtics Radio Calls on This Play is a Thing of Beauty
By Matt Schultz
Published:
The Sixers thumped the Celtics on Thursday night to force a Game 7. It never felt particularly close. The Sixers went up by as many as 23. Jayson Tatum (18 points, 6-13 FG) and Jaylen Brown (18 points, 7-17 FG, one rebound!) were kept pretty quiet all night by Kelly Oubre Jr. and Paul George (lmao). Tyrese Maxey was the best player on the floor, leading all scorers with 30 points. Joel Embiid was healthy enough to do these cool pushups –
All in all, it was a miraculous thing to watch – for Sixers fans. On the other side of things, I’m guessing Celtics fans were sick to their stomachs as this nightmare unfolded. This is an educated guess based on the differences between the Sixers’ radio call and Boston’s on this play:
“Timeout Boston! What a game! Sixers 69! Boston 54! Are you kidding me?!”
This call rules. Tom McGinnis rules. This is exactly the kind of hyped-fan energy you want from a home radio broadcast. Sounds like me watching the game alone in my house, yelling at the TV and scaring the dog. The best. And when compared with the Celtics’ call, it’s even better:
I love this. I’ve listened to it fifteen times. You can hear the Celtics’ broadcasters get sadder as the clip goes on. They have some juice early on, but there’s a real shift after the VJ dunk. Sounds like the guys both independently decided they’d like to lie down on the ground. Feels like neither even wants to use their broadcaster voices anymore because they’re over it. I wish the clip went a little longer so I could hear them start muttering in their normal, non-performative voices:
“I, ah… Shit. Man… Crap… [long silence]. I’d like to go home now. [longer silence] I don’t care. This game is boring, I don’t actually care. I’m just in the mood to go to my house now. [longest silence yet] [sound of car keys jingling]. I’m heading out.”
Incredible. Here’s hoping the Sixers can make these poor Celtics radio guys even more upset in Game 7 on Saturday night.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…)