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Gimme a Couple Minutes Here, I’m Trying to Wrap My Head Around This Confederate Flag Hurricanes Tweet
By Matt Schultz
Published:
The Flyers and Hurricanes will face off Thursday night in Game 3 of their second-round playoff series. Philly is down two games to none. Carolina is a very good team. Noah Cates and Owen Tippett are out. The offense can’t get going. The power play is a mess. Getting back into this series isn’t going to be easy. There’s a lot to break down.
But I can’t really think about any of that right now. I’m busy trying to get this tweet straight in my mind:
Lot going on here. Need a minute to work through it.
In a zoomed-out sense, I guess I see what the tweet is going for: There are a bunch of soldiers going off to fight a battle. Got it. The old-ass song is about “going to fight the Yankees and defend their land” – Flyers must be the Yankees, due to Philly not being in the South. Sure. The Carolina Hurricanes logo is on two of the flags, there. Makes sense. All that could be fine.
The part I’m getting tripped up on, of course, is the Confederate flags. I was under the impression that that flag is racist. Pretty sure that’s true. Feel like I remember learning this important lesson as a mere boy, watching The Dukes of Hazzard (2005) on DVD at a sleepover:
Zooming out a bit, I’m also confused by the tweeter’s choice to invoke the Civil War at all. The South famously lost that one. Meanwhile, the Hurricanes are up 2-0 in their series with the Flyers. So doesn’t this photo imply that the Hurricanes (the Confederates) are on their way up to the North (Philly) to fight the Yankees (Flyers)? Which means this tweet is predicting Carolina losing the war (series) then, yes?
Lot going on here. Truth be told, I can’t make heads or tails of it.
Let the record show, in case I haven’t been clear: If I were the one putting this tweet together, I would not use the Confederate flag. But I’m not one to give a note without suggesting possible alternatives or solutions. It’s just not my way. I’m not here to tear people down; I’m here to help them improve. So in that spirit, here are three quick pitches on other ways this tweet could’ve been handled:
Three Ideas That Might’ve Been Better Than Using Confederacy Imagery In This Tweet
Make The Flag A Bird Flag: A quick Google search just taught me that the North Carolina state bird is the Northern Cardinal. What the tweeter could’ve done is just slap a couple cardinals where the Confederate flags are. Maybe swap out the soldiers’ gray uniforms for cardinal red. Cardinal is a great bird. It’s one of the main birds you think about when you think about a cool bird. My grandma loves cardinals. Look at this cardinal – would look pretty nice on a flag:
Make It Plane-Themed: A quick Google search just taught me that the Wright Brothers’ first flight was in North Carolina. Maybe instead of this racist-seeming Civil War picture, the tweeter made this a plane picture. Maybe it could’ve been the Wright Brothers wearing Hurricanes jerseys and zipping around up in their plane somewhere. Maybe they have word bubbles. Maybe they both say, “Time To Fly, Canes!” I’m not saying this is fully cooked. I didn’t say this would be a fully cooked idea. I don’t have time to fully cook it. I said I’d pitch a jumping off point, and that’s what I did. Think there’s something in there. Plus it’s not racist, which is a step in the right direction.
Just Do A Regular Hockey Picture: Simple is almost always the best solution when you’re stuck. So for my last suggestion, I’d say a simple photo of a hockey puck would’ve probably done the trick. Maybe put a big red ‘H’ on it. Everything in life can’t be a grandslam; sometimes you just gotta get on base. And not be racist online.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…)