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Cards on the Table: I Did Not Handle This Blake Griffin/Jared McCain Jab Well
By Matt Schultz
Published:
Over the last couple days, as the Sixers have fallen behind 2-0 in their second-round matchup against the Knicks, there’s been plenty of relitigating the past – how the Sixers got here, and what could’ve been done differently. A lot of that discussion has centered around the Jared McCain trade. Everyone’s talked about it. Crossing Broad has talked about it. We’re all on the same page: Bad trade by Daryl Morey. He shouldn’t have done that. Would’ve been real nice if that didn’t happen. But alas! In my opinion, it is time to move forward…
But Blake Griffin disagrees. After Jared dropped 18 points on 7-of-11 shooting and 4-of-5 from three in just 18 minutes during the Thunder’s win Thursday night, he had this to say:
“They didn’t sell high enough (long laugh break). Shoutout Philly.”
Griffin’s joke was a nod to what Daryl said after trading McCain at the deadline for a 2026 first-round pick and three second-rounders:
Now look, I know Blake is right here. I agree with the sentiment. The Sixers obviously could use McCain right now, a microwave bench scorer, when the Sixers’ current bench only managed to score 15 points total in Game 2 against the Knicks. The Sixers did not sell high. I get the joke. I can laugh at myself. I’m a cool and chill kind of guy. I recently bought a hammock. I’m laid back. I’m Salt Life. I know how to take a joke…
But I have to be honest here. Cards on the table: For about three seconds there, I got extremely mad at Blake Griffin. And I had the urge to dunk on Blake Griffin right back. I felt compelled to defend both the Sixers’ honor and my own, by going on the offensive…
I wanted to point out that Blake is – and always has been – famously corny. I wanted to tell him how weird it is that despite being an NBA superstar, a world-class athlete, and a future Hall of Famer, his truest desire in life is to be a sub-par, nervous-looking standup comedian:
I wanted to announce that it’s downright odd how desperately he longs to be a charisma-less commercial actor:
And I wanted to tell Blake that, sadly, he is not very good at comedy. He is merely very rich and famous, and that is why people let him live out his baffling fantasy of being a part-time UCB teacher who gets work once every couple years:
Then my three seconds of fury passed. I realized that Blake is allowed to dunk on the Sixers for being dumb as hell, because they are. I also felt bad about thinking that stuff about Blake. It’s fine that he wants to be a comedian. I do think he’s a funny guy. I just wish Jared McCain was still on my favorite team. Sorry for almost lashing out at you, Blake. Glad I didn’t do it. Cooler heads have prevailed.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…)