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Rick Tocchet Earned the Right to “Relax With Women” in a Neon Blue Bar and Drink One Martini
By Matt Schultz
Published:
The Flyers were swept by the Carolina Hurricanes in their second-round matchup in a pretty lopsided four games. They showed plenty of grit, but were ultimately outmatched by a veteran Canes team that earned the number one seed in the East for a reason. When all is said and done, though, this Flyers team took a major leap forward this year that very few expected. I’m of the opinion that they all deserve to celebrate a little – even head coach Rick Tocchet, who I was glad to see in the bluest bar on earth having a martini and “relaxing with women,” according to this summary on X:
This is exactly what I want to see: A 62-year-old man in a suit smiling, drinking some sort of fancy small cocktail, and being gently caressed on the shoulder by a woman’s hand. Who could have an issue with this? This is what life is all about – you go through all the hard stuff (i.e., take a young team to the second round of the playoffs) so you can then sit in a neon blue room with disco lights flashing in your eyes and hopefully get touched on the arm by a lady. Mankind has been unwinding in this same exact way for thousands of years, and we’re not stopping any time soon. My only note is that I’m not sure I’d describe this as “relaxing with women,” but maybe I’m nitpicking. “Relaxing with women” sounds like what the Persian king in 300 does, which feels different than being in your 60s and having a drink with one woman, but again, I could be splitting hairs:
Also, it’s worth noting, I think – the X explainer claims some people have a problem with Tocchet doing this (relaxing with women), but every comment I’ve seen is something along the lines of “Who cares? Let him enjoy a drink! He’s got to live, doesn’t he? He earned a night out!” Just looked for like fifteen minutes and couldn’t find a single person who’s actually mad. I think we may all be arguing with no one here. I think this may be a non-story. Seems like we all agree: It’s nice that the Flyers made it to the second round. It’s nice to see the team enjoy its success. It’s nice to see Tocchet “relax with women.” May his offseason be filled with all the bright blue rooms and gentle shoulder caresses his heart desires. Amen.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…)