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I Guarantee This Video of Kyle Schwarber Slapping Bass Will Make You Say “Hell Yeah” Out Loud to No One in Particular
By Matt Schultz
Published:
Kyle Schwarber hosted Schwarber’s Block Party on Wednesday night – an event for Schwarber’s Neighborhood Heroes, a charity supporting first responders, military personnel, and their families – and during the festivities, he got on stage and did this:
I’ve watched this video a few times now, and on every viewing, several times while watching, I’ve said “Hell yeah” out loud to no one in particular. I don’t intend to do it. It’s not a plan. It’s just a natural reaction, a physiological response, like sneezing when you have to sneeze. You don’t choose to sneeze. You don’t choose to say “Hell yeah” when Schwarbs shreds. It just happens.
I challenge you to watch the video without saying it. This is some of the most “Hell yeah” shit I’ve ever seen. Look at him up there. Big hat on. Suit jacket. Running shoes. Slapping the hell out of some bass. This video still would’ve worked if Kyle was bad, but it’s made that much better by the reveal that he’s pretty good. He’s keeping time. He’s not rushing. He’s got a head bob going. He’s standing with a confident lean, like he’s well aware that he’s being swag as hell. The man is in the zone.
And it’s not just Kyle’s performance that’s great, either – every aspect of this clip contributes to how “Hell yeah” it is. The red lighting is cool. The venue is sweet. The camera guy is doing a great job – bringing the camera closer to Kyle, keeping that underneath-shot, then panning out to the packed house. It’s objectively sick stuff.
Overall, I’m left feeling pretty grateful for all the cool stuff I just saw: Kyle having a good time at this event. Tons of people showing up for a great cause. Kyle appearing to be over the vague illness that’s kept him out the last couple Phillies games. And, of course, seeing our guy confidently slapping some bass. Hell yeah.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…)