Ad Disclosure
Ivory Coast Arrived in Delaware Wearing the Coolest Blazers I’ve Ever Seen
By Matt Schultz
Published:
The World Cup teams are touching down in America ahead of the tournament kicking off on June 11th, and while every squad isn’t here just yet, I’m comfortable calling this right now – no one is going to show up looking cooler than the Ivory Coast guys:
Ton to love here. The blazers, of course, are the headliner. They’re so sick. I’m just gonna rattle off some loose thoughts about these sick-ass blazers.
Some Loose Thoughts About Ivory Coast’s Sick-Ass Blazers
-The orange is a great orange. Nice and bright, but not neon. This kind of orange could easily skew construction-vest-orange if done wrong, but it didn’t. Well-executed.
-Tie-dye is a great choice. I’ve never seen a tie-dye suit jacket. I’d like to see more.
-This tie-dye is no ordinary tie-dye. You’re not gonna find this kind of tie-dye in the Surf Mall’s tie-dye shirt area where all the Grateful Dead t-shirts are, up those stairs all the way in the back-left where it smells weird. Incense, perhaps, is what that smell is. No, these blazers are a different, cooler tie-dye. I’ve seen it before, but can’t put my finger on where…
-Took me a few minutes of thinking hard, but I got it: These blazers are the same color/pattern of the good kind of street hockey ball:
As you’ll recall, the traditional street hockey ball was solid, bright orange — closer to hunting-vest-orange. Those balls weren’t as good; they were too squishy. These tie-dye ones were the premium hockey balls. They were harder, and thus easier to stick handle.
-The backs of the blazers are even better than the front:
-Elephant on the back of a coat is sick. We should have more images of animals on the backs of our clothes. You see it on t-shirts, sure, but I’d like to see it more on nice clothes. Clothes that cost over $400. I’ve only seen an animal on the back of a jacket one other time in my life, and it was also sick:
-The elephant stuff doesn’t end there. The buttons are also elephants:
-Generally speaking, I love that Ivory Coast really leans into the elephant being their national symbol and mascot. It’s cool as hell. Every country should do this. America should do this. I guess ours would be the bald eagle, which, personally, I’m not crazy about. Don’t think it’s a cool or interesting bird. It’s too large. I don’t like that it’s mostly brown. Also don’t like its expression; too dour. I think we could do way better mascot-wise, even if we were to stick with another bird. Three quick/better options:
- Crow (most intelligent bird, all black, badass-looking)
- Red-winged Blackbird (all black with orange wings, perfect color combo, Flyers-ish, an exciting bird to see around)
- The Great Blue Heron (large but slender, wise-looking, majestic, dinosaur-esque)
But whatever we’d do, we’d just be competing for second place. No one is going to beat Ivory Coast’s elephant.
-Bigger picture, I really like that the Ivory Coast team is staying in Wilmington, Delaware. I don’t know a ton about Ivory Coast, but a quick Google search has taught me it’s one of the most beautiful places in the world:
-Wilmington Delaware, on the other hand, is Wilmington, Delaware:
I lived in Wilmington, DE for a little while. This was the first photo that came up on my phone when I searched ‘Wilmington Delaware’ in my photos just now.
A wonderful clash of cultures. That’s what the World Cup is all about.
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…) email: M.Schultz@sportradar.com