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Ryan Howard Crushing Home Runs on Sunday Felt a Whole Lot Like 2006
By Matt Schultz
Published:
Sunday had a 2006 feel to it. There was something in the air. I’m sure you felt it. Maybe not consciously, but in a deeper, visceral way, something stirred a nostalgic pang in your gut, transporting you twenty years back to that glorious time. Maybe you heard “How to Save a Life” by The Fray (2006) playing on a passing car’s radio… Perhaps you flipped past “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” (2006) playing on TNT… You may have even found yourself ruminating on Flava Flav’s reality television dating show “Flavor of Love” for no particular reason, thinking to yourself, “Flav should’ve just ended up with that very tall woman with the blonde hair. I forget her name. She was huge. He was small. But it worked… Yin and yang… They seemed to have a good thing going. A bond, a trust, that’s something they could’ve built on…“
And, of course, you may have seen that Ryan Howard was back on TV crushing dingers, much like he did when he won the 2006 Home Run Derby:
How nice is that to see? Our guy’s still got it! The Big Piece! As part of the MLB All-Star 3-on-3 event at Citizens Bank Park on Sunday, Ryan Howard showed us all that he can still put on an absolute show at the plate with that same old effortless-looking swing. Now, was the plate moved up all the way to the pitcher’s mound? Yes, it was. Does that mean he was only hitting balls about 300ish feet? Sure. Do I care? Absolutely not. That changes nothing. Truth be told, I wouldn’t have cared if they put home plate out in center field and Rhino was only hitting dingers 50 feet. It’s Ryan Howard. He’s doing his cool-ass barely-trying swing. The ball is going over the fence at Citizens Bank Park. That’s the recipe. That’s all I need. It rules.
Thank you, Ryan Howard, for taking us back to a simpler time. In celebration, let us all now gather ‘round and watch Ryan’s 2006 Home Run Derby victory, then watch Flava Flav hanging out with Brigitte Nielsen (that’s the massive blonde woman whose name I couldn’t remember, these two were excellent, what an interesting pair of people to watch interact, what a size difference, this was good TV to watch as a thirteen-year-old, I am glad I did this).
Matt Schultz is a comedy and sports writer from Philadelphia. He’s written extensively for ClickHole, The Onion, and Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco. His work has been featured in Vulture, Deadspin, The A.V. Club, Paste Magazine, and other publications. Much of his sports journalism can be found on college basketball websites that don’t exist anymore (PhilaHoops Heads rise up…) email: M.Schultz@sportradar.com